In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. Do you think should this be enforced in all schools?

#countries #schoolchildren #school #uniforms #be #schools

School

dress

code

mandotary

Correct your spelling

mandatory

in all

eduactional

Correct your spelling

educational

institutions and

this

helps equality, discipline,

safe

Replace the word

safety

show examples

and

secure

Replace the word

security

show examples

among the

students

. I consider

school

leaarners

Correct your spelling

learners

should wear

uniforms

when they

attending

Wrong verb form

attend

show examples

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

This

essay will discuss it briefly for the following reasons.

To begin

with, all educational institutions should have rules and

regualtions

Correct your spelling

regulations

about the

dress

code

of peers

what

Correct word choice

and what

show examples

they wear

Change preposition

apply

show examples

equally,

as a result

, avoiding

discrimaination

Correct your spelling

discrimination

between the richest kids and the poorest children which are all

students

should wear the same

cloths

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

while

they do not show to their financial status by wearing fashion cloths.

For example

uniforms

can bring unity

along

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all should be treated equally

this

lesson is needed for child

Change preposition

during

show examples

their

school

time.

Hence

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

cloths

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

should

wear

Wrong verb form

be worn by

show examples

all

school

learners

Moreover

, each and every

schools

Change to a singular noun

school

show examples

have

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

own

dress

code

to easily

identified

Wrong verb form

identify

show examples

which

schools

are belongs

Change the verb form

belong

show examples

them

Change preposition

to them

show examples

like bow tie and same colour

dress

thus

learners

can acquire more discipline from their educational institutions. Violation might be mitigated when they wear

uniforms

which

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

they feel safe and secure because outside people can easily

recoganise

Correct your spelling

recognise

students

Correct pronoun usage

who belongs

show examples

belongs

Correct subject-verb agreement

belong

show examples

to which

schools

as a result

, the

learners

may be afraid to do

misbehave

Wrong verb form

misbehaving

show examples

activities

while

going

Change preposition

to schools

show examples

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

For instance

according to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

recent NGO report said that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

voilation

Correct your spelling

violation

has been reduced drastically as compared to the earlier

Change preposition

apply

show examples

wearing

uniforms

school

days.

Therefore

, all

schools

should

be enforced

Wrong verb form

enforce

show examples

their law which are all

students

should wear

uniforms

To conclude

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

dress

code

an inevitable among all

schools

at present days and

this

brings more benefits to the

learners

Therefore

, I consider

uniforms

should

Verb problem

apply

show examples

essential for children.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Mon Nov 27 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure to maintain a logical flow in your essay, linking your ideas more clearly and using a wider range of cohesive devices such as 'however', 'consequently', and 'therefore' to improve the connections between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

It is beneficial to have an introduction and a conclusion, but make sure they are both fully developed. Your introduction should more clearly outline the arguments that you will discuss, and your conclusion should effectively summarize your points without introducing new ideas.

coherence cohesion

You have included general supporting points for your arguments, however, to improve your score, provide more concrete examples and evidence to back up your statements. The use of specific details will make your essay more persuasive.

task achievement

You've addressed the task reasonably well and provided a completed response. However, to achieve a higher score, ensure that your ideas are more extensively developed and your opinion is more clearly stated throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.

task achievement

Strive for clarity and depth in your ideas. Organize your thoughts comprehensively and ensure that each paragraph elaborates on a single main idea, always linking back to the essay question.

task achievement

Try to include more specific examples that are fully elaborated to support each point you make. This might involve citing research, studies, or more detailed scenarios that are directly relevant to the topic. Avoid vague references.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. Do you think should this be enforced in all schools?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, health care and education are only partially funded by the government. Some people argue that the government should be responsible for covering the full cost of these services. Do you support or oppose the opinion? Explain your position.

A knowledge of maths is not important for most jobs nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

in some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in school in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?