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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*- labelled coffee and bananas in 1994 and 2004 in five European countries.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*- labelled coffee and bananas in 1994 and 2004 in five European countries.
#tables #information #sales #fairtrade*- #coffee #bananas #five #european #countries
The given table
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
sales
 of fairtrade- labelled two items like bananas and
coffee
 in five
european
Change the capitalization
European
show examples
 nations
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
UK
, Switzerland, Denmark,
Beigium
Correct your spelling
Belgium
 and Sweden in two different periods 1999 and 2004.
Overall
 from the perspective,
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 had the highest amount of
sales
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 period.
In contrast
,
Sweden
Change noun form
Sweden's
show examples
 banana
sales
 had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased from
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 period to other periods.
According to
 the table shown that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
sales
Change preposition
in sales
show examples
 of
coffee
 in 1999
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Denmark had the highest
sales
 ratio which is 1.8
million
 and
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
sales
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 increased slightly in 2004 which is 2
million
. The
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 had 1.5
million
 in 1999 sale of
coffee
 but
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
five years later
coffee
sales
 dramatically increased which is 20
million
. Other three European countries changes
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 not
noticeably
Change the word
noticeable
show examples
. Interms of banana
sales
, in 1999
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 had the highest amount of
sales
 which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 15
million
,
this
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased dramatically by 2004 which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 47
million
. Switzerland had 1
million
 in 1999 and
banana's
Change noun form
banana
show examples
sales
 slightly
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
 in 2004 which is 5
million
.
In contrast
, Sweden had 2
million
sales
 of fruit in 1999 but in 2004
this
sales
 ratio drastically
fallen
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 from 2
million
 to 0.9
million
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, coffee, uk, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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