some think the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard id to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. (to what extent do you agree or disagree whit this opinion.

bonus can encourage
people
to
work
hard.
some
Capitalize word
Some
show examples
people
consider the best way
influenced
Verb problem
to influence
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
hard
work
is
paying
Change preposition
by paying
show examples
them
depent
Correct your spelling
depending
on how much they produce and sell. I
Pratially
Correct your spelling
Partially
agree with
this
statement because They will be motivated to hard
work
and they will become
workaholic
Fix the agreement mistake
workaholics
show examples
. frisly, they will be motivated to
work
hard because they get more pay.
People
can improve their self and do
the
Change the word
their
show examples
best for their
job
.
tHe
Correct your spelling
They
can find out the best way to develop and build their
job
because
their
Change the pronoun
they
show examples
realised
Wrong verb form
realise
show examples
the result of their
job
. it makes
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
get more pay.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
example, some companies set
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
for their employee if they increase their
work
, they can get additional bonuses.
secondly
, They will become
workaholic
Fix the agreement mistake
workaholics
show examples
. being
workaholic
Correct article usage
a workaholic
show examples
, they do not care about their family and self. They will
be lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
contact with their family and get sick because their
body
Wrong verb form
bodies are
show examples
tired after they puss to
work
.
for example
, they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
a lot of time
to
Change the verb form
working
show examples
work
so they forget to
eating
Change the verb form
eat
show examples
or relax
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
sick because of that.
to sum up
,
people
will
be encourage
Change the verb form
be encouraged
be encouraging
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
work
harder despite they will
be forget
Change the verb form
forget
show examples
their other life because more focused
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
job
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that the introduction provides a clear thesis statement that addresses the prompt sufficiently. Avoid partial or vague positions.
coherence cohesion
Develop the main body paragraphs with clear topic sentences and structured arguments. Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
task achievement
Include relevant examples and explain how they support your argument. Avoid generic or unspecific anecdotes that do not strengthen your position.
task achievement
Work on grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Frequent errors can impede communication and lower the score.
coherence cohesion
Write a concluding paragraph that summarises your arguments and restates your position. Ensure that it provides a clear closure to the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use varied sentence structures and linking words to enhance the flow of the essay. Check for run-on sentences or comma splices that may cause confusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: