IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Write a letter to the manager of your local bus service. They have recently made some changes to the bus services which created inconveniences for you. In your letter, explain: what are the changes what are the problems you are facing what part of the service would you like to change

#manager #bus #service #changes #services #inconveniences #part #change
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Dear Sir/Madam I am writing to express my concern about the recent alterations your transport service company has implemented in our area (Willington countryside) and the issues I am contributing afterwards. As you are already informed there were existed four stations among the Waver Street which were quite proper to handle all the essential and main offices. Food courts and stalls, business buildings, governmental offices, and educational entrances were mainly applicable and surrounded by the mentioned previous four stations, and as a citizen living in Willington, I could achieve all my requirements through one bus, quite fast and normally.
Although
 you added another which I believe you intended as an improvement and made them five, you have changed the locations for the formers, each one quite far from the above-specified fields. Now to meet my routine requirements I am forced to choose the new stoppage and tread the path moderately for 10 minutes by walk, very time-consuming. Before I was able to send my son by your company bus and ask him to get out on Buckingham stop, directly going to school clearly on the opposite side, but now I am obliged to accompany him to take care when walking a couple of minutes to reach the academy.
Also
 reaching the post office created the same issue with delivering my daily parcels as an online shop handler.
Therefore
, I desperately ask that kindly relocate all the previous stops and merely add the fifth one
at the end
 of the street which fortunately a new surrounding is built as a children's playground and can be used quite often by many families. I commend all your efforts and reputations that you plan to innovate as merit but I deeply request to reconsider and pay attention to my cases. I hope the issues can be resolved and look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully Abraham Streeter
Submitted by majid.ebadi on

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task achievement
The letter could benefit from a clearer explanation of the specific changes to the bus stops. Consider providing more detail on what exactly changed and how these changes brought about the inconveniences mentioned.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of the letter can be improved by organizing ideas more clearly. Consider introducing the issues one by one instead of combining them in paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea to enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The letter contains an appropriate greeting and closing, which adds to its formal tone.
task achievement
The suitable writing tone throughout the letter is appropriate for addressing a manager. It maintains a respectful and concerned tone which is necessary for such formal communications.
task achievement
The letter addresses the task response well by describing the changes and problems while also suggesting a solution.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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