The diagram below shows how orange juice is produced

The diagram below shows how orange juice is produced
The
process
diagram delineates the details of the various ways of producing orange juices and selling them in the market. Apparently, at first glance, there are two distinct processes to produce orange
juice
, the first
process
has four basic stages;
however
, the second
process
gets its raw material which is a concentrated
juice
from stage one of extracting a
juice
and it has seven steps of manufacturing the ready to drink juices which is preserve and available in the market. Beginning with the
process
of production of fresh
juice
,
at the first stage
the fresh oranges are brought to the factory via truck,
further
they are washed under the water.
Next,
the clean oranges are moved to the vessel to extract fresh
juice
from the oranges; at
this
stage, the solid waste is separated and fed to the cattle,
however
, the fresh orange
juice
is
further
stored in a packing and without any added preservatives and
also
available at nearby shops. Moving
further
, fresh orange
juice
is
also
developed as concentrate
juice
. The steps of preparing fresh orange
juice
remain the same,
instead
of packaging they are loaded in the refrigerator truck and transferred to the machine to evaporate the water from it. After the evaporation
process
,
this
concentrated
juice
is stored in cans and
this
step is known as ‘canning’,
thus
, they are transported to the warehouse. These canned juices are
further
sent to the factory and added water to prepare
juice
. The
last
steps remain the same as packaging and
finally
selling to the shops.
Thus
, it is an elaborated
process
of making orange
juice
.
Submitted by deepalivaz on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, further, however, thus".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Orchard
  • Harvest
  • Processing facility
  • Quality control
  • Extraction
  • Pasteurization
  • Filtration
  • Preservatives
  • Fortification
  • Deaeration
  • Shelf life
  • Distribution
  • Bottling
  • Packaging
  • Labeling
  • Environmental impact
  • Sustainability
  • Waste management
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