Nowadays, in many areas, local people celebrate large-scale festivals. It can bring economy; beside, it can take away the local culture. So, what is the advantage and disadvantage of this problem.

On the one hand, there are some pros of
large – scale
Correct your spelling
large–scale
show examples
festivals
. First of all, the city where
hold
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the festival will be upgraded to a higher level. In fact, more
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
about that area will be appeared on social media.
For example
, photographers or journalists come and record videos about the
festivals
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
post
on
Correct pronoun usage
them on
show examples
the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
In addition
, the
festivals
also
give chances to children to do more outdoor activities. Nowadays, children tend to spend their time at home more than going outside so it’s an opportunity for them to enjoy the holiday with their family and friends.
For instance
,
Mid-Autumn
Correct article usage
the Mid-Autumn
show examples
festival is a great time for children to play and watch “múa Lân”.
On the other hand
,
massive – scale
Correct your spelling
massive–scale
show examples
festivals
have some cons. Some businesses are changing our culture to keep up with the
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
challenges. Indeed, tickets at some tourist attractions have been taken to
a higher prices
Correct the article-noun agreement
higher prices
a higher price
show examples
. To give an example, the cost of entrance tickets to HoiAn increased very high in a short time.
Moreover
, many landscapes have been
damage
Wrong verb form
damaged
show examples
by tourists. Many people littering or drawing on walls, causes serious loss of aesthetics.
Furthermore
, the
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
repair in
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
ways
also
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
the scenery become worse.
For instance
, a lot of ancient house in HoiAn is full of graffiti and drawings,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
makes
this
place
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
its antiquity. In conclusion, large-scale
festivals
help develop the economy of an area but have
Submitted by ms.quyenmelody on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay has some structure in terms of paragraphs, but the logical flow between ideas can be significantly improved. Ideas are presented sequentially without clear transitions or cohesive devices to guide the reader seamlessly from one point to the next. Integrate transition phrases and ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are incomplete or lacking. A strong essay needs a clear thesis statement in the intro and a restated, concise summary of main points in the conclusion. Ensure the essay begins by paraphrasing the question and ends decisively.
supported main points
You should support your main points with detailed explanations, not just by listing examples. Aim to fully develop each idea with further analysis or commentary that clarifies how your examples support your argument.
complete response
Your response does address the task and presents both advantages and disadvantages of large festivals. To strengthen your task achievement, provide a balanced comparative analysis for both aspects and ensure you respond completely to all parts of the prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
The clarity of your ideas can be enhanced. Aim for well-defined arguments that are directly related to the task question. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea, followed by supporting details. Avoid generalizations and focus on making your ideas more comprehensive.
relevant specific examples
Your use of examples is good, but they could be more effectively integrated into the essay. Use specific, relevant examples that directly support your main points, and explain the significance of each example to your argument.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!