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Band 1

It is a fact that people nowadays are under a lot of pressure, and their life is becoming increasingly stressful. What could be the possible reasons for this? What are some solutions to address this problem?

#fact #people #pressure #life #address
Life of
people
 in
this
 world is getting pressurized day by day and stress
also
 increased in the lives of
people
. There might be numerous possible reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 problem and the essay will explore some plausible
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it. It is undeniable that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 life is not as simple as
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 had been in the past. The reason is a lot of complexities
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 entered
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the lives and thoughts of
people
 which trigger stress and unrest.
People
 at present are not satisfied with what they have rather they are
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
 about what they do not have.
For example
, rich
people
 are hankering after money, wealth and fame despite having plenty of that. That
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to more hard work and pressure which lead does not suit their health and family lives.
Therefore
, they become stressed and fail to live a normal life.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay clearly with a distinct introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your essay with a clear statement of what will be discussed and conclude with a summary or a thoughtful endpoint, addressing all parts of the task.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with clear explanations, details, and specific examples. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea that is explored and supported thoroughly.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, making sure to answer both questions posed by the prompt. Offer a balanced response with both reasons for the increase in stress and possible solutions.
task achievement
Express ideas clearly and develop them comprehensively. Avoid over-generalizations, and ensure that your essay is easy to understand, with each point contributing to the overall argument or narrative.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. These examples should be relevant and clarify your arguments, adding depth and credibility to your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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