The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework and households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The graph depicts the percentage of households that

own

Wrong verb form

owned

show examples

washing

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

refrigerator

Fix the agreement mistake

refrigerators

show examples

and vacuum

cleaner

Fix the agreement mistake

cleaners

show examples

, in one nation for around 100 years,

whereas

Linking Words

the second chart illustrates the number of

hour

Change to a plural noun

hours

show examples

spent on housework during the same time period.

Overall

Linking Words

, the ownership of

refrigerator

Fix the agreement mistake

refrigerators

show examples

and vacuum

cleaner

Fix the agreement mistake

cleaners

show examples

showed an upward trend,

however

Linking Words

washing

Add an article

the washing

a washing

show examples

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

was fluctuating

Wrong verb form

fluctuated

show examples

between 1960 and 2019. The amount of time spent doing housework in

household

Add an article

the household

show examples

was showing

Wrong verb form

showed

show examples

a downward trend in the same period of time. In 1920, individuals owning

refrigerator

Fix the agreement mistake

refrigerators

show examples

was zero

percentage

Replace the word

per cent

show examples

however

Linking Words

, it drastically rose to 90% in 1960 and from there it steadily grew to 100% in 2000. The ownership of

vaccum

Correct your spelling

vacuum

cleaner was at 30% in 1920 and it increased to 100% in 2000, which continued to stay steady throughout

years

Correct article usage

the years

show examples

. The possession of washing

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

was 40% in 1920,

however

Linking Words

, it started fluctuating from 1960 to 2019. In 1920,

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

hours

Use synonyms

spent washing clothes, preparing meals and cleaning was 50

hours

Use synonyms

per week.

Linking Words

Consequently

Add a comma

Consequently,

show examples

It declined to 20

hours

Use synonyms

per week in 1960 and it steadily decreased to 10

hours

Use synonyms

per week in 2019.

Submitted by Sivapriyaanil on Mon Nov 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

185 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
electrical appliances
housework
time frame
variables
trends
significant milestones
turning points
correlation
reduction
influenced
societal implications
quality of life
gender roles
economic implications

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some parents think children's behavior should be strictly controlled, while other parents think children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give examples.
A sum of people believe that children's behaviour relies a lot on how their parents control them. However, many disagree with this statement. This essay will discuss both arguments regarding this statement.
4.5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In these modern days, the development of technology is advanced and plays an important role in our life. Everyone will have some electronic gadgets such as smartphones, laptops and tablets. In addition, some children might spend a lot of time on their smartphones. In this essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of this case.
7
band
In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish, causing pollution on land and in the water, so people think they should be ban. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, shopping bags made from plastic have caused controversy in society. Some people believe plastic bags should be banned because they harm the environment such as water and soil. I strongly agree with that opinion and I believe that society should start considering replacing plastic bags with other environmentally friendly bags in order to lessen the negative impact made by plastic bags.
7
band
People always believe that we could be a better person by using positive mindset. To what extend do you agree?
A positive attitude is often touted as a crucial element in achieving personal success and success. While I agree to a considerable extent that maintaining an optimistic viewpoint can indeed lead to self-improvement, it is important to recognize that it is not the sole factor in becoming a better person. There are several dimensions to this argument, encompassing psychological, social, and practical perspectives.
7
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages?
It is argued that taking risks, both in professional and personal lives is a crucial thing for every individual. In my point of view, taking risks have more advantages rather than disadvantages, such as building a strong person and building a growth mindset to achieve success.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework and households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

Some parents think children's behavior should be strictly controlled, while other parents think children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give examples.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish, causing pollution on land and in the water, so people think they should be ban. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People always believe that we could be a better person by using positive mindset. To what extend do you agree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages?