2) The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to raise the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It has been observed that the Earth struggle with
the
numerous issues Correct article usage
apply
such
as air , noise and different types of pollutions
by Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
transports
. Fix the agreement mistake
transport
Although
some people believe that increasing the value of petrol for vehicles is the best path for the sollution
of Correct your spelling
solution
this
problems. I agree with the given statement. My inclination is elaborated in the ensuing paragraph and relevant examples .
The foremost argument to justify my stand is that raising the cost of benzine encourages humans to buy electrocars which don't require gas and are beneficial for the environment . For instance
, countries which
included in the European Union Correct pronoun usage
apply
obligate
to pay high taxes for using cars which work with combustion fuels . Wrong verb form
are obligated
Moreover
, besides
these payments , the government laid down the law for companies such
as BP , Socar and Petronas to increase the tariff by
per litre. Change preposition
apply
As a result
demand to
purchasing electrocars Change preposition
for
are
growing day by day . Change the verb form
is
Besides
this
, it is also
true that in Germany , Italy and France emitting of the greenhouse gas had been dropped by 43% .
Furthermore
, the order reason to prove my point is the expanding of
price Change preposition
apply
open
individuals's eyes Wrong verb form
opens
for
Change preposition
to
the
global topics Correct article usage
apply
such
as warming or the ozone layer destruction . Because of that, people began to analyse the reasons for these solutions and interested in challenges
of their shared home . Correct article usage
the challenges
For example
, THE UK TIMES wrote article
about gaining Add an article
an article
the
readers about climate change after new ordinances by states . It means the population started to Correct article usage
apply
excited
about the environment .
Add a missing verb
be excited
On the contrary
, some people counterclaim the mentioned support . The foremost argument they do
is after new rules prices of the old cars which work by petroleum Verb problem
make
is
decreased and Verb problem
have
had
Wrong verb form
have
been
more accessible than before . To add to Verb problem
become
this
, the purchasing of these cars has doubled .
To conclude
the discussion, it can be said that despite the fact of expansion of the
gasoline vehicles , my reason that it should Correct article usage
apply
also
be noted that the abandonment of the old type of machines and the transition to electric ones also
raised . Growth the
price is logically acceptableChange preposition
in the
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure which makes it difficult to follow. Make sure to organize your thoughts in a coherent manner with clear paragraphs and transitions.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a conclusion but it is not effectively summarized. Introductions and conclusions are crucial for setting the stage and summing up your argument. Work on making them clear and reflective of the content of the essay.
task achievement
Despite touching on the main topic, your points need to be presented more clearly and developed further. Expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and avoid overgeneralization.
task achievement
In some parts of your essay, your ideas are not fully clear or comprehensive. Strive to express your thoughts in a more understandable and logical way, providing clearer explanations for your points.
task achievement
You have included examples, which is good, but make sure they are specific and directly related to the points you are making to strengthen your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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