Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both society and individuals. To what extent do you agree.
I’ve found some information for my project ‘What
teenagers
in Zetland spent their money
on’ and now i
would like to introduce it.
On the Change the capitalization
I
diagram
we can see that 34% of Add a comma
diagram,
teenagers
prefer to spend their money
on clothing and footwear, 29
% of them prefer to spend their Correct word choice
and 29
money
on technology. And only 17% of teenagers
spend their money
on traveling
. Thereby, we can see that 5% more Change the spelling
travelling
teenagers
spend their money
on clothing and footwear,
than Remove the comma
apply
traveling
. Change the spelling
travelling
Also
we can see that 17% Add a comma
Also,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
teenagers
spend their money
on traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
,
than on clothing and footwear.
Remove the comma
apply
However
, I’ve outlined a problem, that
most Correct word choice
apply
part
of students Change to a plural noun
parts
prefer
spending their Change the verb form
prefers
money
on clothing, than
on Replace the word
then
traveling
. I can assume that they prefer Change the spelling
travelling
this
way of spending money
,
because Remove the comma
apply
traveling
prices are very high. But there is a solution. If we want to change the situation< the government should make Change the spelling
travelling
traveling
prices lower, than it is now. Change the spelling
travelling
This
way teenagers
would explore the world and learn some interesting facts about their country more
.
In my experience, I prefer to spend my Correct quantifier usage
apply
money
on technology, because I don't like to travel around my country, I prefer to travel to other countries. But the price is very high. That is
why, now I can travel to other countries only with my parents.Submitted by dulskywork on
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task
The essay provided does not address the given IELTS topic on social networking sites and their impact on society and individuals. The candidate must ensure that they fully understand the task and concentrate on the specific topic presented in the prompt.
structure
The structure of the essay is disjointed and lacks a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that pertain to the topic of social networking sites. The essay must have a clear logical structure with well-defined sections and the information provided should be organized accordingly.
content
The essay deviates from the topic and discusses spending habits of teenagers instead of the positive and negative impacts of social networking sites. The candidate must provide relevant examples and explanations that pertain to the original essay question.
coherence
Ideas and arguments need to be presented in a clear and logical manner, with each paragraph devoted to a specific main point that ties back to the overall thesis of the essay. Transitions between points should be smooth and contribute to the coherence of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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