Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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this

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day and

age

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music

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has been a symbol of happiness. Some

people

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believe that

music

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evokes the spirit of unity between

people

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. In

this

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essay, I strongly agree that

music

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can enhance the togetherness of society regardless of culture,

age

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, and socioeconomic background. In my view,

music

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is a universal form of art.

Music

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can be listened to by each and every person in

this

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world, regardless of

age

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, social status, race, or gender.

This

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is because

music

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does not need the same language to be understood as long as it has a wonderful melody that can touch our hearts and resonate with our minds.

For instance

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, Korean pop (K-pop)

music

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is currently well-known in every part of the world, engaging

people

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in different countries and cultures, and it can unite

people

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from different stages of

age

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Finally

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music

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can make

people

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content with the unique feelings resulting from the dynamic range of

music

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types that can generate happiness, joy, or love and affection.

In addition

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music

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can be enjoyed with various forms of arts performance. Festivals, concerts, or live

music

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are the particular types of shows that we can easily watch with our buddies or loved ones. On top of that, nowadays,

people

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are willing to commute to another city just to watch their

favorite

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favourite

show examples

singer or band groups. The most popular world group tour

this

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year, Coldplay, has been evolving its live concert in many countries, and many

people

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from other cities or regions gladly come to watch their concert.

This

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is a crystal clear example of how

music

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can simply bring

people

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from various backgrounds together to come and enjoy arts.

To sum up

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, it seems to me that

music

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is a powerful tool to strengthen connections and relationships between

people

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. It is because

music

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does not need an exact interpretation to enjoy, and it is because

music

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has a strong power to drive

people

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massively.

Submitted by asyifannisakh on Mon Nov 27 2023

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task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the question of music as a means of bringing people together, but be sure to elaborate further on examples to solidify your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that there are cohesive devices linking these ideas throughout the essay. Though well-structured, the essay could benefit from varied sentence structures and a more cohesive thread between points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good trend, but some people oppose it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that universities students should specialise in a particular subject while others believe that they should study a range of subjects. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some think it is a good way to spend, while others think there are other better options. Discuss both views and give your opinion.