Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
day and age
, music
has been a symbol of happiness. Some people
believe that music
evokes the spirit of unity between people
. In this
essay, I strongly agree that music
can enhance the togetherness of society regardless of culture, age
, and socioeconomic background.
In my view, music
is a universal form of art. Music
can be listened to by each and every person in this
world, regardless of age
, social status, race, or gender. This
is because music
does not need the same language to be understood as long as it has a wonderful melody that can touch our hearts and resonate with our minds. For instance
, Korean pop (K-pop) music
is currently well-known in every part of the world, engaging people
in different countries and cultures, and it can unite people
from different stages of age
. Finally
, music
can make people
content with the unique feelings resulting from the dynamic range of music
types that can generate happiness, joy, or love and affection.
In addition
, music
can be enjoyed with various forms of arts performance. Festivals, concerts, or live music
are the particular types of shows that we can easily watch with our buddies or loved ones. On top of that, nowadays, people
are willing to commute to another city just to watch their favorite
singer or band groups. The most popular world group tour Change the spelling
favourite
this
year, Coldplay, has been evolving its live concert in many countries, and many people
from other cities or regions gladly come to watch their concert. This
is a crystal clear example of how music
can simply bring people
from various backgrounds together to come and enjoy arts.
To sum up
, it seems to me that music
is a powerful tool to strengthen connections and relationships between people
. It is because music
does not need an exact interpretation to enjoy, and it is because music
has a strong power to drive people
massively.Submitted by asyifannisakh on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the question of music as a means of bringing people together, but be sure to elaborate further on examples to solidify your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that there are cohesive devices linking these ideas throughout the essay. Though well-structured, the essay could benefit from varied sentence structures and a more cohesive thread between points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite