IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

n1) Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#n #group #students #classroom #home
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In our modern era, it is always debated whether online or offline lessons are more productive for learners. From my perspective,
this
 opinion is valid to a certain extent, but I still it is quite reasonable. The following paragraphs
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 shed light on my perspective. Admittedly, the protesters of
this
 standpoint have their rational ground.
Firstly
, offline
education
endow
Change the verb form
endows
show examples
 to save extra time. In fact, the majority of individuals, especially
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 in megopolises like Tokio, New York so forth complain about
waste
Add an article
the waste
show examples
 of time on the roads because of traffic.
Secondly
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another positive side of
distant
Replace the word
distance
show examples
education
 is flexibility.
For instance
, It is the best option for individuals when they are travelling ,
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 students can be in touch with their tutors, and do not stop their lessons during the voyage.
This
 action would enhance the quality of the life inhabitants.
On the other hand
, the above arguments are insufficient to overshadow the merits of the topic in question. The most pertinent point is that offline
education
 is more advantageous for middle schools.
For example
, when the parents do not have enough time to explain the topic or control
hometasks
Correct your spelling
home tasks
.
Furthermore
, traditional
education
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
 individuals
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
 disciplined and more responsible.
For instance
, students
knows
Change the verb form
know
show examples
 when they should wake up, have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
breakfast, and go to university or school.
In addition
,
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
 ways of studying affect the social life of communities , eventually
face to
Verb problem
,
show examples
face
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
show examples
 communication helps people save mental calm and relaxation. In
conclucion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,it is disputable that
distant
Replace the word
distance
show examples
 lessons are less effective and productive because of it is novelty. But I still believe that
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 able to give a chance to
this
 new and convenient way of studying
Submitted by abdurahimov03 on

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introduction conclusion
Be sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should lay out your argument or perspective clearly, and the conclusion should summarily address the points made throughout the essay without introducing new information.
supported main points
Your body paragraphs should focus on providing clear, supported main points. Each paragraph should have a main idea, followed by supporting information or examples.
logical structure
Ensure that your essay maintains logical flow and connectivity between ideas. Use transition words and phrases to help the reader follow your points from one paragraph to another.
vocabulary grammar coherence
Be careful with grammar and vocabulary to avoid the repetition of ideas or words, and make sure each sentence clearly contributes to the overall argument or narrative of the essay.
relevant specific examples
While you have provided some relevant examples, they should be more specific, entirely relevant, and further elaborated to strengthen your argument and illustrate your points.
complete response
Your engagement with the task is adequate, but you must ensure that you address all parts of the prompt completely. Expand on your ideas to fully develop your argument in line with the task requirement.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clarity in expressing your ideas. Complexity is good, but not at the expense of comprehension. Ideas should be easy to understand and logical.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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