IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone app is becoming increasingly common. Does these development have more advantages or disadvantages?

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It is undoubtedly true that the use of online payment methods is increasing at a great pace.
However
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, I believe that the online payment method has more advantages than its demerits. I will discuss the merits in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with the major pros of
this
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 trend are that it is very convenient and portable.
For example
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, India has previously launched the U.P.I method for payments. The vast majority of folks have made the practice of
this
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 method and transactions through
this
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 procedure after purchasing anything. To elaborate on
this
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, paying bills through online applications provides comfort to individuals.
This
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 gives the independence to the masses to make transactions in lakhs or even in crores.
Consequently
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, folks feel better after the instant transaction.
Moreover
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, paying online is the best way to reduce the risk of the thieves.
For instance
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, In third-world nations, folks have no knowledge of
this
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 technique and individuals always carry currency
along with
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 them which is often snatched by poachers. To explain
this
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, if someone carries a large amount of currency
along with
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 them,
this
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 always enables the criminals to commit the crime and steal cash If they make use of
this
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 kind of technique
then
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 they do not need to worry about pochers.
As a result
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, dealers are always in fear of carrying huge amounts of cash. On the other side, many make arguments about the Process. They feel that it would be very difficult for those people who are old and illiterate they may be unable to make payments through
this
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 technique.
Furthermore
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,
this
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also
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 enhances the chances of fraud
due to
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 some having no appropriate details about how to handle these applications. Less knowledge of
this
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 procedure always provokes hackers to cheat with the polite public. Taking everything into consideration, online transaction applications are very useful for transferring money instantly but
due to
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 some risks, everyone has to take it with care as well the government makes sure to make
this
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 as secure as they can.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points and restate your opinion. Both the introduction and conclusion could be strengthened for coherence.
supported main points
Develop main points with clear supporting examples and explanations. Expand on the advantages and disadvantages with specific evidence and greater detail to fully support your argument.
complete response
Address all aspects of the task, ensuring that your response clearly discusses the prevalence of mobile payment apps and evaluates both the advantages and disadvantages. Your position should be clear throughout the essay.
logical structure
Work on linking ideas more naturally and creating a smoother flow of information throughout the essay. This includes using cohesive devices effectively and organizing paragraphs in a logical manner.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand upon your ideas to ensure that they are comprehensive and fully developed. Consider presenting each point more thoroughly with additional explanation and reasoning.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points. These examples should be detailed and directly linked to the topic to strengthen your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contactless transactions
  • Mobile wallet
  • Biometric authentication
  • Fraud prevention
  • Digital divide
  • Cybersecurity
  • Financial inclusion
  • Spending habits
  • E-wallet
  • Encryption
  • Digital literacy
  • Payment gateway
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