it is important to children to learn the difference right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this disctiction.
Some
pople
Correct your spelling
people
believes
that Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
know
about right and wrong Wrong verb form
knowing
start
from little age is Wrong verb form
starting
importand
and that governments need Correct your spelling
important
takes
part in providing help for Change the verb form
to take
this
statement. However
, I fully disagree with this
topics
. It will lead children Fix the agreement mistake
topic
be
like robots, without any feelings and many Add the particle
to be
prevent
Wrong verb form
are prevented
to make
Change preposition
from making
friends
, because of issues with communication.
It is undeniable that feelings an
essential part of our life. When individuals care about doing something wrong or offering something and do not accept feelings, it Add a missing verb
are an
lead
them to be similar to robots. I have read about Change the verb form
leads
story
that was in 1995 in Add an article
a story
the
England. One boy Correct article usage
apply
who's
parents teach them never Correct your spelling
whose
do
wrong things starting from him young age, after some years Fix the infinitive
to do
he
does not feel anything like Correct pronoun usage
apply
Correct article usage
a robots
robots
.
Fix the agreement mistake
robot
Also
, it can have problems with communication with someone. If child
Correct article usage
a child
do
not communicate with other children, it will be hard to make Change the verb form
does
friends
that can do them
same to Correct your spelling
the
introvert
in the future. My aunt had problems with making Wrong verb form
introverts
friends
and he never be happy in the
his childhood. Currently, they have a lot of Remove the article
apply
friends
and they happy
to spend Add a missing verb
are happy
with
them time.
Correct pronoun usage
their with
To sum
up
all mentioned before, I Add a comma
up,
become
to Verb problem
come
conclusion
that teaching children right and wrong Add an article
the conclusion
startinf
from little age Correct your spelling
starts
not
correct. They will learn Add a missing verb
is not
in
by Change preposition
apply
their self
during the time and Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
expiriences
.Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure with distinct paragraphs including an introduction and a conclusion. Furthermore, the main points are not well-supported and the logical sequencing of information is disrupted by numerous grammatical errors and inappropriate use of language.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the prompt but fails to fully engage with the question raised, as the response deviates from the topic and does not provide a thorough exploration of why punishment might or might not be necessary for teaching children right from wrong. The response should be refocused to specifically address the aspects of the importance of punishment and align examples accordingly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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