Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artist. To what extent do you agree?

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artist

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Today we have a high speed in the technology race and science and,

consequently

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scientists

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and technology experts tend to be more important and competitive specialists in

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this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

areas. In

this

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essay, I will agree with

this

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issue and describe some arguments.

Firstly

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, the digital age started not so many years ago if we compare it with our whole past scientific research it still has a huge potential to start a new era in the virtual or cybernetic world. Every musician and artist is based on his own experience and viewings adding something new and personal.

Similarly

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scientists

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create a large number of methods for the fastest analysis and modelling of any kind of data as personal information, music and arts.

Hence

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, what musicians and artists have been doing for many years you can get in a few minutes on a simple website,

therefore

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they have a competition between themselves with their skills and science with cutting-edge methods.

Secondly

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, modern society has many problems that could be solved only by

scientists

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, so the popularity of arts loses its position in human priorities. For creative persons, it is almost difficult to take the attention of humanity in the digital world with requirements increasing every year. In conclusion, I have an opinion that

scientists

Use synonyms

and technology experts are highly valued by today's trend of innovations for reasons and I believe that with the government's funding, they will create the greatest future, but humanity won't forget about the arts and our culture linked them.

Submitted by ushak.2004.80 on Mon Nov 27 2023

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Task Achievement

Your essay provides a clear opinion, stating agreement with the statement, but the arguments could be more clearly developed. To enhance task achievement, expand on ideas with more detailed explanations and include specific, illustrative examples to support your points.

Coherence

Work on creating more logical connections between ideas for better coherence. Use a variety of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Consistency in the use of tenses and pronouns will also improve the cohesion of your essay.

Cohesion

Develop a more structured approach with distinct and interconnected paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, followed by an explanation and example. This structure helps with both coherence and task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancement
Cultural enrichment
Tangible impact
Economic contributions
Lifestyle improvements
Emotional wellbeing
Quantified achievements
Financial success
Practical utility
Escapism
Personal connection
Education systems
Government funding
STEM fields
Digital age
Media influence
Public opinion
Interdisciplinary approaches
Innovations
Undervaluation

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Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artist. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Some people believe that both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem, while others argue against this. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, the number of shootings increase becausee many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might be the case ? What could be the disadvantage?

you have arranged to visit a friend in England but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • explain the important event • apologise for the situation • suggest a new arrangement

some people think that arts subjects such as Drama and Music are an important part of a school education. Others, however, think that they are a waste of time and resources. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.