IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the pollution levels in London between 1600 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the pollution levels in London between 1600 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#pollution #levels #london #information #features #comparisons
The line graph demonstrates the pollution level in London between
1600and
Correct your spelling
1600 and
 2000. It is measured in micrograms per cubic metre.
Overall
, it is obviously clear that
both
Sulphur
dioxide
 and
Smoke
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started from
lowest
Add an article
the lowest
show examples
 point and
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated
at the end
 of the 20th century.
In addition
,
both
 of them experienced recovery. Clearly, the
Sulphur
dioxide
also
 has a significant growth and fall throughout the given period compared to the
Smoke
. Between 1600 and 1750, they started to increase,
while
 the figure for
Sulphur
dioxide
 skyrocketed,
Smoke
 increased at a slow pace.
Besides
, in
this
 time period ,
Sulphur
dioxide
 and
Smoke
 noted their highest point at 750 and 250
metre
Change to a plural noun
metres
show examples
,respectively.
Then
 the indicators continued to grow. For the rest of the years, they
both
 continued to increase at a slow pace.
Following
this
 numbers kept
fluctutating
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
 until between 1850 and 1900,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
sulphur
dioxide
 reached a high of
approximetely
Correct your spelling
approximately
 800 micrograms per cub
metres
Fix the agreement mistake
metre
show examples
 and
pollutuion
Correct your spelling
pollution
 was caused by
smoke
 which peaked at 450 micrograms per cub
metres
Fix the agreement mistake
metre
show examples
. During the 20th century, the levels of
both
 pollutants fell dramatically, though there was a great deal of fluctuation within
this
 fall.
Clearly
Add a comma
Clearly,
show examples
 air pollution was a bigger problem in London in the early 20th century than it is now.
Submitted by naghizadaozgul on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words both, sulphur, dioxide, smoke with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slow" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: