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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below show the distribution of world water and the use of water in three countries.

The charts below show the distribution of world water and the use of water in three countries.
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The charts illustrate the distribution of the world's
water
Use synonyms
 and the percentages of
water
Use synonyms
 use in
three
Use synonyms
 different sectors in
three
Use synonyms
 countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that salt
water
Use synonyms
 accounts for the vast majority of
water
Use synonyms
 on Earth, with the rest composed of fresh
water
Use synonyms
. In the bar chart,
water
Use synonyms
 is used the most for agriculture in Egypt and Saudi Arabia,
while
Linking Words
 industrial
water
Use synonyms
 use is the most predominant in Canada. The pie charts reveal that salt
water
Use synonyms
 makes up 97% of the total
water
Use synonyms
 and freshwater comprises a mere 3%.
In addition
Linking Words
, freshwater constitutes 79% of ice and glaciers, 20% of groundwater, and 1% of surface
water
Use synonyms
. Shifting our focus to the
three
Use synonyms
 nations'
water
Use synonyms
 consumption patterns, the share of the agriculture category is the highest in Egypt (80%) and Saudi Arabia (75%), starkly contrasting with that of Canada at only 10%.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the industry sector utilizes a substantial 80% in Canada, the figures for Egypt and Saudi Arabia only record 5% and 10%, respectively. Interestingly, the shares of domestic
water
Use synonyms
 use were similar among the
three
Use synonyms
 nations, at 10% or less.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, three with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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