IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#meat #health
I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 many health problems are caused not by eating
meat
. Our health and problems with it are related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and climate. Many disorders are caused by
poluted
Correct your spelling
polluted
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
 and natural disorders. Everything has to exist in harmony and animals are
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 important part of our
eco-system
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
show examples
. Lots of people think that they must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
save animals and nobody
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 not eat them. I disagree with that because people are on the top of
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 chain and humans like
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
 to eat
meat
 to support harmony.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 organism needs
meat
 for
normall
Correct your spelling
normal
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
 because
meat
 contains animal protein
whis
Correct your spelling
which
 is necessary for us.
On the other hand
 shortage of animals
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our planet is very
Correct your spelling
harmful
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
 and
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 natural disasters like drought and famine
Submitted by sofia.varvus on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Begin with an introductory paragraph that clearly states your position, followed by a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
logical structure
Your essay requires a more logical structure. Use paragraphs to organize your ideas, and ensure each paragraph has one clear main idea with supporting sentences.
supported main points
To improve coherence, use connecting words to better link your ideas, and develop your arguments with clear explanations.
complete response
While you address the prompt, your response is incomplete and lacks depth. Expand on your ideas, providing a more developed argument with clear reasons for your position.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make your ideas more comprehensive and precise. Avoid vague statements and ensure you elaborate on how your points support your overall position.
relevant specific examples
Your argument would be strengthened by including relevant and specific examples from real-life situations or authoritative sources to back up your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chronic diseases
  • balanced diet
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • plant-based diet
  • ethical concerns
  • environmental impact
  • deforestation
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable
  • Vitamin B12
  • processed meat substitutes
  • social and cultural implications
  • mitigate
  • full-time vegetarian
  • plant-based options
  • health benefits
  • commit to vegetarianism
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