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Band 3

What precautions can people take to reduce the spread of food-borne illnesses?

#precautions #people #spread #food-borne #illnesses
The industrial revolution has taken the society to another level. It had a significant impact on agriculture.
However
, it has
also
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to the emergence of many
food
-borne
illnesses
.
This
 can be prevented by following specific guidelines. Foodborne
illness
 can affect anyone who eats contaminated
food
;
however
, certain populations are more susceptible to becoming ill with a greater severity of
illness
. These populations include infants and children, the elderly, pregnant women, people taking certain kinds of medications or immune
suppressed
Replace the word
suppression
show examples
.The major causes of
food-borne
Correct your spelling
foodborne
show examples
illness
 are considered to be poor hygiene, inadequate cooking and contaminated
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
according to
 the studies conducted
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Wharton University.
Additionally
, many contaminants
such
 as bacteria,viruses and parasites are
also
 considered to be the main
causers
Correct your spelling
causes
show examples
 of diseases.
For instance
, salmonella:which is a bacteria that causes salmonellosis, can be found in certain
food
 types; poultry products, undercooked eggs,
dairy
Correct word choice
and dairy
show examples
 goods. People infected with
food-born
Correct your spelling
food-borne
show examples
illnesses
 have certain symptoms in common including high fever, upset stomach, headache,
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
,
vomiting
Correct word choice
and vomiting
show examples
. Various
illnesses
 can be prevented by following certain guidelines. Washing hands properly, being conscious about the
food
 sources, cooking with proper temperature and
clean
Replace the word
cleaning
show examples
 equipment.
To sum up
,
food
-borne
illnesses
 are quite common nowadays. Mainly caused by contaminants present in the
food
, people can take certain actions to avoid getting infected with the
illness
.
Submitted by hrushik2006 on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay provides an introduction and conclusion, each with a clear thematic focus, there is a lack of depth and detail throughout the main body paragraphs. To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is thoroughly developed and linked to the overall essay question.
task achievement
When addressing the topic of foodborne illnesses, it's crucial to include more detailed explanation of precautions. Your essay touches on the preventative measures, but these should be expanded upon with specific steps and clear guidance. Ensure that each point made is followed up with a detailed explanation or an example to substantiate your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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