IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone app is becoming increasingly common. Does these development have more advantages or disadvantages?

#countries #phone #app #development
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Nowadays,mobile phone app is widely used in purchases dramatically. In
this
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 essay, the benefits
as well as
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 drawbacks of
this
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 cutting-edge will be illustrated.
To begin
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 with, currently, a lot of the public is highly dependent on mobile phone apps in order to
get
Verb problem
meet
show examples
 their needs
instead
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 of paying
cash
Use synonyms
. To illustrate
this
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, paying by phone is not as difficult as
cash
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is because there is a chance to lose your pocket money with a physical fraud. Not only
this
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 but some banks provide a good interest If you pay with their apps,as well.
Moreover
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, currently, cell phones are broadly used so, the public can make any sort of buying with a simple approach.
Additionally
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, some coffees
in addition
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 to restaurants provide some offers like a free cup of coffee If you pay with a mobile app.
For example
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, Costa Coffee. So as to the given reasons,there are some positive to
this
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 situation,
according to
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 the aforementioned justifications.
However
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, despite
this
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, there are some negatives to
this
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 situation,as well. Obviously, take cybercrime as a good example.
Such
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 as, in my country, back in 2021, the number of cyber
fraud
Fix the agreement mistake
frauds
show examples
 was on an upward trend. On account of hackers, can break any account and steal money.
According to
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 the given reasons, plenty of people prefer to use
cash
Use synonyms
 money
on
Change preposition
in
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 the expenditure process rather than mobile buying.
Therefore
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, what the governments have to do is use
cash
Use synonyms
instead
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 of mobile. So as not to struggle with online fraud. In a nutshell,after a thorough analysis of
this
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 subject,
it is clear that
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 the negative consequences of
this
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 development outweigh its positive sequel.
Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea with supporting sentences that relate directly to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that subsequent sentences logically follow on from this, enhancing the overall cohesion of your text.
coherence cohesion
Include a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas and show the relationship between paragraphs and sentences.
task achievement
In addressing the task, be sure to directly answer the question posed and stay focused on the topic. Address the essay prompt thoroughly by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally, providing clear examples to support your points.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas by providing more details and specific examples, which will add depth to your essay. Avoid making general claims without adequate support.
task achievement
You should also pay attention to the prompt that asks whether these developments have more advantages or disadvantages. Your conclusion should reflect whether you think one outweighs the other and be supported by the content of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contactless transactions
  • Mobile wallet
  • Biometric authentication
  • Fraud prevention
  • Digital divide
  • Cybersecurity
  • Financial inclusion
  • Spending habits
  • E-wallet
  • Encryption
  • Digital literacy
  • Payment gateway
What to do next:
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