Movies with spectacular car chases are a thrill to watch and fun too but they have led to an increase in car accidents on urban roads. Do you agree? What do you think can be done to make the youth more aware of road safety?

#movies #car #chases #thrill #fun #accidents #roads #youth #road #safety

Although

it is incredibly fun to watch

car chasing

Add a hyphen

car-chasing

show examples

scenes

in some movies,

this

may lead to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

increasing rate of

car

accidents

especially on urban roads. In

this

essay, I will discuss why I firmly believe that

this

is true and I will propose some strategies to avoid

further

adverse impacts on

this

matter. There are many convincing reasons why

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

particular

scenes

car

chases are dangerous. First and foremost, we should acknowledge that young people are always curious, specifically

Change preposition

about

show examples

the

scenes

that they adore much. In

this

case, showing the spectacular

car

chases possibly

urge

Correct subject-verb agreement

urges

show examples

them to

drive

fast like what they watch. Another thing to consider is that some youth

Change preposition

show examples

their age do not

pose

Verb problem

possess

show examples

enough capabilities

in doing

Change preposition

to do

show examples

such

professional actions. Even if they have been trained to do so, they may lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

some wise consideration in taking the crucial decisions on the road.

As a result

this

exciting yet careless behaviour may lead to the rising

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

car

accidents

Further

effects that may be caused by

these reason

Change the determiner

this reason

these reasons

show examples

can

be solve

Change the verb form

be solved

show examples

through some serious initiatives.

Firstly

, it is a must to establish particular regulations on

minimum

Add an article

the minimum

a minimum

show examples

age for driving on the road. By implementing

this

, those who are still underage would be unable even to try to

drive

, unless they are on training accompanied by adults or professionals. Another

sollution

Correct your spelling

solution

is providing the proper training as a main requirement before getting

the

Correct article usage

show examples

legal driving permit.

This

is because many people

getting

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

driving

permit

Fix the agreement mistake

permits

show examples

just by paying money to the officials without having enough capabilities to

drive

wisely. If we take the training seriously, the

accidents

could possibly be reduced. In conclusion, I agree that the

thrilled

Replace the word

thrilling

show examples

movie

scenes

car

chasing might lead to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

increasing

Replace the word

increase

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

car

accidents

especially for youth as they are typically curious to try what they watch without having proper capabilities.

This

issue can be tackled by implementing

regulation

Fix the agreement mistake

regulations

show examples

minimum

Add an article

the minimum

a minimum

show examples

age for driving and providing the required training before they get legal

permit

Fix the agreement mistake

permits

show examples

drive

Submitted by rahmasalfia on Tue Nov 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure from introduction to conclusion, but transitions between ideas could be smoother.

task achievement

You remained on topic and addressed the essay prompt. However, you may want to expand on each main point with more detailed examples for a higher score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Movies with spectacular car chases are a thrill to watch and fun too but they have led to an increase in car accidents on urban roads. Do you agree? What do you think can be done to make the youth more aware of road safety?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others , however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed school.

Some feel that cities should be designed to be beautiful while others feel their functionality is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects