Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to information in many countries. This is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to
information
Use synonyms
in many countries.
This
Linking Words
is a danger to our
societies
Use synonyms
. Accessibility to raw
data
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has been provided on web pages is not controllable and might bring unexpected results for countries ,
for example
Linking Words
, personal privacy breaking by some users , social-political documentaries could be a source of conflict between the public contrary to other
groups
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, classifying
data
Use synonyms
in a long
time
Use synonyms
will stop innovation and creativity to progress
societies
Use synonyms
,so , in some aspects, I agree with the main hypothesis that some sort of
data
Use synonyms
might be dangerous for us if It has not and speedy and controls on that.I will extend ideas in the following sentences. Transforming pieces of
information
Use synonyms
through
web
Add an article
the web
show examples
are more convenient method because it has speedy much of
Use synonyms
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not classified properly ,so , it can be a source of chaos in the human mind and push uncontrollable behaviour in users ,
for example
Linking Words
, when some companies want to prompt their importance by increasing suddenly in their goods ,only professionals in economic know that
this
Linking Words
is a scam news but speedy distribution of news for many people can push stress and turn on the unwanted behaviour like shopping and saving these goods and it might be a source of traffic inflation and blockage streets ,so , emergency hospital machines could not be able give their services in
time
Use synonyms
and the rate of sudden death is going to high ,in
finally
Linking Words
, you have a false
data
Use synonyms
because of speedy uncontrollable
data
Use synonyms
in the first plot . In another aspect, access to
information
Use synonyms
is more favourable among
societies
Use synonyms
, because , they can develop the border of knowledge and find the solutions to many problems ,
however
Linking Words
, when different
groups
Use synonyms
of society have access to
data
Use synonyms
without
cautious
Replace the word
caution
show examples
,they can interrupt the efforts of other
groups
Use synonyms
in the same
time
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
, physicians are working on some viruses that can be transformed genetical basis in some ethnics group , if , in a same
time
Use synonyms
lawyers are working o discrimination studies on ethnic
groups
Use synonyms
, they are more confused about some actions in the first group ,so ,accessible without control and speedy might be created unwanted fighting among
groups
Use synonyms
. In conclusion , I believe classifying and arrangement patiently are better than speedy and unlimited accessibility to
data
Use synonyms
for
societies
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by h.ebrahimi66 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
The essay structure is weak and difficult to follow. An introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion should be clearly defined. Each body paragraph should contain one main idea and subsequent supporting sentences. Consider using linking words to improve the logical flow.
development
Ideas are not developed with examples or clear explanation. It is essential to provide concrete examples or explanations to support your points. This adds clarity and persuasiveness to your argument.
grammar/vocab
There are multiple grammatical errors and the vocabulary is often misused, which significantly hinders the overall understanding of the essay. Proofread your response for errors and consider using a wider range of vocabulary appropriately.
task response
The essay partially addresses the prompt but fails to fully develop a clear position. Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and maintain a consistent stance throughout your essay.
examples
The content-related examples provided are vague and do not convincingly support the points made. Each body paragraph should be centered around one clear main idea with directly related examples.
conclusion
Your conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points of your essay or restate your position clearly. Make sure your conclusion encapsulates your overall argument concisely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: