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Band 4

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards international tourism?

#people #tourism #country #change #attitude
The international
Correct article usage
International
show examples
 tourism has a negative
attitude
 towards some
people
 .Some
people
 feel
unsecure
Correct your spelling
insecure
 about the tourists that they are visiting their
country
 .Let us discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the reasons and the steps to change the negative
attitude
 among the
people
. Foreigners
while
 visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
our
country
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are
unknown
Correct word choice
unaware
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the rules and regulations of the area that they are visiting .They are putting the waste on the prohibited areas
.foreigners
Correct your spelling
Foreigners
 throwing the garbage anywhere
this
 leads to irritate to the
locals
 .
This
 can cause land pollution.
Tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
Tourists
show examples
people visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prohibited places
whithout
Correct your spelling
without
 the knowledge of the area
people
 and not
following
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
 the
government
 norms.
This
 leads to some danger for them
for example
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the beach places
whithout
Correct your spelling
without
 the knowledge of
locals
 and guards they are going
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the sea
.when
Correct your spelling
When
 the huge wave arrives they may be taken by the waves
this
 might cause
dead
Replace the word
death
show examples
 or missing of a particular person .so the local
people
 has negative
attitude
 towards
this
. To change
this
 negative review the
government
 should take various measures to control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
, they should provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clear data about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
particular places and they should guide them .
Government
 should take various steps to remove the negative
attitude
 from the
locals
 by telling
about
Correct pronoun usage
them about
show examples
 the advantages of
foreigner's
Change noun form
foreigners
show examples
 visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
our
country
 ,the level of unemployment can be reduced and the areas and towns will get
get
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
different
inovation
Correct your spelling
innovation
 to attract the
people
 who are visiting from
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
 .It may
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
posible
Correct your spelling
possible
 chance
to increase
Change preposition
of increasing
show examples
 the relationship between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
.
Finally
, I conclude that to change the negative
attitude
 towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreigner
Fix the agreement mistake
foreigners
show examples
,s ,the
government
 should take proper response of
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to encourage the
locals
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international tourism.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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coherence cohesion
The essay shows some level of organization but lacks clear logical structure. Ideas should be more effectively organized and paragraphs should be well-developed with clear topic sentences. Transitions between ideas need to be smoother to enhance coherence.
task achievement
The response to the task questions is somewhat complete, but it lacks depth in analysis and clear comprehensive ideas are not thoroughly expressed. The examples provided are relevant, despite not being fully developed or detailed. More focus on developing these ideas with additional support and explanations is needed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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