IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
line
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
 shows how many inquiries
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 collected from
tourist
Add an article
the tourist
show examples
 office in 2011. It is clear from the
line
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
 that to see the average from receiving
inquire
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
 by
person
Use synonyms
,by
email
Use synonyms
,and by
telephone
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, receiving
inquire
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
 in
person
Use synonyms
 are taking increasing from January to June .
Moreover
Linking Words
, as we see in the
line
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
 receiving
inquire
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
 by
email
Use synonyms
 is less than receiving
inquire
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
 by
person
Use synonyms
 because we think the people did not prefer to
sent
Change the verb
send
show examples
 the
inquire
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
 by
email
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
receiving
inquire
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
 by
telephone
Use synonyms
, it shows starting by fluctuating level from January to February . After that, it
is have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a fixed level between
month
Correct article usage
the month
show examples
Change preposition
of march
show examples
march
Capitalize word
March
show examples
 and April. And the
line
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
this
Linking Words
 way receiving
inquire
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
 by
telephone
Use synonyms
 is more comfortable for people and the office.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that receiving
inquire
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
 by
person
Use synonyms
 and
telephone
Use synonyms
 is a good way to
sent
Wrong verb form
send
show examples
th
Correct your spelling
the
to
inquire
Replace the word
inquiry
show examples
, and many people do not prefer to
sent
Change the form of the verb
send
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inquire
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
 by
email
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words line, chart, person, email, telephone with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Inquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • Overall trend
  • Sharp increase
  • Gradual decline
  • Peak
  • Fluctuation
  • Outnumbered
  • Dominated
  • In-person inquiries
  • By telephone
  • By letter/email
  • Correspondence
  • Interpersonal
  • Communication method
  • Popularity
  • Comparison
  • Tourism season
  • Visitor engagement
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