Virtual reality be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Technology has developed into a visualization tool to relieve stress and heal t mental health. some argue that virtual
reality
takes individuals to other worlds which out of reality
is harmful for mental health. I disagree that virtual reality
has a negative effect on human beings. This
essay will discuss that I feel that for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
Initially
, technology has been evolving drastically in recent years which causes a vast distraction for electronic users. Consequently
, teenager uses virtual reality
on meta to navigate with their friends in a virtual world which is dangerous for their mind and well-being it keeps them away from studying or using hand object. For example
, China has banned children from using augmented reality
for leisure because it leads them to unreal conceptions and feelings mentally and physically.
Despite this
, there are a number of significant drawbacks to virtual reality
users most of them suffer from frustration and they compartmentalize themself from the real world in addition
meta share an article regarding virtual reality
users they experience different emotions at the same time when they utilize VR or virtual games. For instance
, Oxford University suggests an issue involving the brain will be affected by spending many hours on unreal machines which can cause trauma and emotional depressions.
In conclusion, in my opinion, it is frequently said that advanced technology such
as virtual reality
has a worse effect on humans, and justifiably that would be harmful to human characteristics and health tremendously. this
kind of mental distraction has no healing.Submitted by alihafiid on
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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction provides a general overview of the topic, but it lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines your main points. Ensure that your introduction includes a clear opinion and preview of the main points to be discussed.
logical structure
Your essay exhibits some logical structure, but the progression of ideas can be improved. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the subsequent sentences support that main idea with explanations or examples.
supported main points
While your main points are present, they need to be more developed and supported with specific examples and explanations. Aim to include real-world examples or research findings that directly support your arguments.
complete response
You have provided some response to the task, but the response needs to be developed further. Ensure that you fully answer the question, providing a balanced discussion if required by the task, and demonstrate a clear position throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are understandable but lack clarity and comprehensiveness. Try to articulate your ideas more clearly and ensure that each paragraph adds to the overall argument of your essay in a meaningful way.
relevant specific examples
The examples you provided are somewhat relevant, but they need to be more specific and directly linked to the arguments you are making. Using concrete and precise examples will help strengthen your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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