IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information about the electricity generation from two countries, Germany and France, in 2009.

The graph below gives information about the electricity generation from two countries, Germany and France, in 2009.
The charts illustrate which types of electric power generation produced the most
energy
Use synonyms
 in two countries in Europe, in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Germany
Use synonyms
 used more
kilowatt
Fix the agreement mistake
kilowatts
show examples
 per hour than
France
Use synonyms
 during a given period.
Also
Linking Words
, the main source of
energy
Use synonyms
 in
Germany
Use synonyms
 mostly came from conventional thermal and nuclear.
Whereas
Linking Words
, nuclear and renewables (hydroelectric) produced the most
electricity
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
. The main generator of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in
Germany
Use synonyms
 came from conventional thermal with 59.6%,
whereas
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 only produced a small minority (10.3%). Another type, Nuclear,
a
Add a missing verb
has a
show examples
significant proportion of 76% in
France
Use synonyms
, though only less than a quarter in
Germany
Use synonyms
. The renewable generated
electricity
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, contributed the least amount of
energy
Use synonyms
 in
Germany
Use synonyms
 and only 13.7% in
France
Use synonyms
. With regards to types of renewables,
Germany
Use synonyms
 generated
electricity
Use synonyms
 mainly from biomass and wind with almost 40% and hydroelectric (17.7%).
While
Linking Words
 in
France
Use synonyms
, hydroelectric produced the majority of
energy
Use synonyms
 with 80.5%, wind (10.5%), and biomass (8.1%). Other types
for instance
Linking Words
, solar, only produced less than 5% and geothermal had no output for both countries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, germany, france, electricity with synonyms.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: