Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both these views anf give your opinion

While
some people believe that schooling should begin at an early
age
, others claim that children should learn when they become older. In my opinion, I strongly agree that they should start their learning process at a young
age
because they can absorb information quickly and develop multiple skills by learning.
This
essay will discuss both views and my opinion in detail. On the one hand, when they are young they have fresh brains so they have more room to process information.
That is
to say that, kids naturally get things more quickly than adults because their cognitive memory works much better at an early
age
.
In addition
, they
also
quickly adapt to the academic atmosphere and begin to utilise their brain capabilities to remember information.
For instance
, a recent study found that memory stability is significantly higher for young ones than for teenagers.
Furthermore
, they know to get on well with other students in school from their childhood and learn moral values
such
as sharing and tolerance which are significantly important to be a good member of society.
On the other hand
, many people think it's better to study when they become older.
In other words
, parents do not want their kids to undergo the stresses of education at an early
age
. They wanted their offspring to enjoy their time before they were pushed into the academic culture
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
made them suffer with more homework and assignments.
Moreover
, it might cause depression and a sense of losing interest in studies. Those are the reasons why they prefer schooling at an older
age
.
For example
, a recent study shows that an average of 40% of school dropouts are
due to
educational pressure since the beginning. In conclusion,
although
some folks argue that a child can start education when they grow older, I believe learning at a young
age
has potential benefits considering the brain development of a child and other significant skills
such
as social and moral values learnt by them.
Submitted by jeeanay on

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task achievement
Your essay presents clear arguments for both sides of the topic and your own opinion, which aligns with the task requirements. However, make sure to develop each point further with more elaborate explanations and stronger examples to enhance the persuasive effect of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have used a clear logical structure in your essay, with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve coherence, ensure you have clear topic sentences for each paragraph and use cohesive devices appropriately to link your ideas more fluidly.
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