Many parents encourage young people to leave home when the become older. While others thinks that they should stay at home with family. Discouse both views and give your own opinion.
Many families try to
convice
the younger generations to leave Correct your spelling
convince
house
when they Add an article
the house
get
adults Verb problem
become
while
others wants
them to stay at Change the verb form
want
home
. I will discuss each perspectives
and share my own opinion.
On the one side, Change to a singular noun
perspective
children
are suggested by parents
to leave home
when they graduate from high school, being
Correct word choice
and being
independence
is one of the Replace the word
independent
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
of
Change preposition
for
it
. When living far from family, Correct pronoun usage
this
children
will learn problem solving
skills Add a hyphen
problem-solving
as well as
discovering new connections. For example
, children
in Indonesia mostly attend university in diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
region
from their area. It is indeed Fix the agreement mistake
regions
with
an intention Change preposition
apply
from
Change preposition
of
parents
to push their children
to gain experience from living far from them and make friends with people from diverse background
.
On the Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
another
side, contrary to an earlier view, many Correct quantifier usage
other
parents
are trying to keep their children
to stay at home
. I suggest that the main factor is psychological thing, having children
around can boost parents
mental condition as sometimes leaving far from families can Change noun form
parents'
parent's
caused
Change the verb form
cause
be caused
homesick
. Replace the word
homesickness
For instance
, some eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
got
mental Wrong verb form
get
problem
after being left by their sons or Fix the agreement mistake
problems
daughter
. Based on mental research, most of the Fix the agreement mistake
daughters
children
lost contact with their family and this
condition makes eledery
suffer.
In conclusion, going out from Correct your spelling
elderly
house
can be beneficial for Correct article usage
the house
children
as they can get indepedency
and experience Correct your spelling
independency
independence
while
staying at home
with parents
can maintain their mental state. I believe that it is more convinient
to do both getting out for experience and Correct your spelling
convenient
in
some pointChange preposition
at
need to
Verb problem
,
get
back around the family so we can keep the harmony.Wrong verb form
getting
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coherence cohesion
Make sure that your essay has a clear logical structure. Each paragraph should have one main idea that is developed and not just stated.
coherence cohesion
Work on smooth transitions between paragraphs. Connective words and phrases should be used to show the relationships between ideas.
task achievement
Enlarge on your main points with explanations and examples that are directly related to the topic. Provide specific examples to showcase a deeper understanding of the subject.
task achievement
Pay attention to the prompt and make sure you discuss both views thoroughly. It's important to balance the treatment of each view without leaning overly on one side. Also, provide a clear personal stance in the conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite