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Band 6

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

6.0 / 9
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Introduction
Limiting working time in a day for
employees
Use synonyms
 has been introduced in many countries.
This
Linking Words
 kind of law is intended to create a better working environment for the workers and
also
Linking Words
 for the whole
business
Use synonyms
, so they are a positive development for both individuals and businesses.
Body paragraph 1
The primary reason for the development of these laws is their contribution to a
business
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's workers. Long working
hours
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 often come with stresses and anxieties not only for the
employees
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 who are mainly affected by it
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 for the managers and so on.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 may
also
Linking Words
 lead to mental
health
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 issues
along with
Linking Words
 physical
health
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 problems. An employee who works for more than 8
hours
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a day is more likely to have
health
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 issues like heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
 or issues with their sleep.
Besides
Linking Words
, for
employees
Use synonyms
 that already have their own family, spending too much time at
work
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 can affect their family life and
also
Linking Words
 their social relationships.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, companies and businesses should actively limit their workers' working
hours
Use synonyms
 in order to create a fresh and lively working environment, where the feeling of exhaustion and stress is reduced to the minimum. Nowadays, many people believe that the more
work
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 the better output quality,
this
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 may
also
Linking Words
 be true but it can heavily affect the
employees
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, the flexibility in
work
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 can be decreased significantly which negatively declines
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity.
Additionally
Linking Words
, long working
hours
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 may not be supported by every employee, making them feel less satisfied with their
work
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 and
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 engagement with the
business
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 could
also
Linking Words
 drop.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the law of limiting working
hours
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 is a positive development for both individuals and businesses, affecting not only the productivity of the
business
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 itself but
also
Linking Words
 the worker's
health
Use synonyms
 and trust in the company.

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task achievement
While the essay presents comprehensive ideas about the advantages of limiting working hours, it would benefit from more specific examples to further illustrate the points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured and has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, linking phrases could be used more effectively to ensure a smoother flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and coherent structure, with distinct introduction and conclusion sections.
task achievement
The ideas presented are comprehensive and relevant to the topic, addressing both the reasons for introducing the laws and their positive impacts.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
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