The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In our developing world,
science
has given us a lot of things,
therefore
, and I agree with the statement that the most important object is to enhance human lives and help them advance. In
this
essay, I will be discussing my point of view on the same.
Firstly
, many studies said that
science
is a necessary need for development, and the most need for it is to help individuals all over the world. By the time, scientists had explored new things day by day and year after year, they never stopped searching for new tools and ways to serve kind men.
For example
, in the organ replacement process, with
this
surgery the one who has some issues with his or her heart will have the ability to replace it with a healthy one,
Thus
, it is a great thing that
science
has provided for us.
Moreover
, of course,
this
process is not only about the heart, it includes all types of organs, foot or legs, arms, kidneys, and
in addition
to lungs. And it is just one type only.
Although
we know many topics that are related to
science
, we still have a long distance to achieve everything.
For instance
, medicines that eliminate cancer, aids, and tuberculosis that a high percentage of people are suffering from,
hence
, we did not find all the solutions yet. In conclusion, to improve
science
, people must have knowledge of its importance, through schools, universities, and media are
also
responsible for that.
Consequently
, we will encourage each other to develop our planet.
Submitted by shireen.asadi on

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coherence cohesion
While the main idea was consistent, the logical structure could be improved by establishing a clearer connection between paragraphs and ensuring a more natural flow of ideas. -- Use linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions and to highlight the relationship between statements. Make sure to outline your essay with clear separations of introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have partially addressed the prompt, but your essay would benefit from a clearer position on the extent to which you agree or disagree. The complete response requires a more explicit statement of your position throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion. -- Develop a thesis statement and ensure that each paragraph supports this statement. Every point made should reinforce your stance on the given topic in a meaningful way.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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