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Writing Samples
Band 7

Modern communications technology benefits some people, but some don't benefit at all. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some argue that benefits from modern
communication
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 technologies are not shared equally and that certain groups gain little or nothing from these developments. I partly disagree with
this
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 view because,
although
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 the degree of
benefit
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 varies significantly, it is difficult to argue that any group is entirely excluded from the advantages of modern
communication
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 tools. On the one hand, it is true that some individuals and communities
benefit
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 more than others.
People
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 in urban areas with strong digital infrastructure,
for example
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, can fully utilise high-speed internet, online banking, and remote working opportunities.
In contrast
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, those in rural regions or developing countries may face limited access
due to
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 poor connectivity or
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of digital literacy.
Similarly
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, older generations who are less familiar with technology may not use smartphones or social media as effectively as younger users, which reduces the practical advantages they gain. These disparities suggest that the benefits of
communication
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 technology are not distributed evenly.
On the other hand
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, it would be inaccurate to claim that some
people
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 receive no
benefit
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 at all. Individuals with minimal digital skills still experience indirect advantages.
For instance
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, public services, banks, and healthcare providers increasingly rely on digital
communication
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 systems, meaning even basic users
benefit
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 from faster information exchange and improved accessibility.
Moreover
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, mobile phones, even in their simplest form, allow
people
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 to stay connected with family members, access emergency services, and receive important updates. These functions demonstrate that modern
communication
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 technology has become deeply embedded in everyday life, leaving very few
people
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 entirely untouched by its benefits. In conclusion,
while
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it is clear that
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 modern
communication
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 technologies
benefit
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 some groups more than others, I disagree with the idea that certain
people
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 do not
benefit
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 at all. The extent of advantage may differ depending on access and ability, but virtually everyone gains some
values
Check wording
value
show examples
 from these technologies in daily life.

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task response
Make your view even more direct in the first paragraph. Say clearly that you mostly disagree and why.
task response
Add one more real and clear example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
In the last line, change 'some values' to 'some value'. This will make your meaning more clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a clear order. Keep this style in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. You do this well, but do not use too many.
coherence and cohesion
The second main paragraph is clear, but one idea could be explained a little more.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction, two body paragraphs, and a clear conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph stays on one main idea.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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