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Band 7.5

Education is not luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?

#education #luxury #right #irespective #wealth
In a
world
 of abundance yet unbalanced
world
,
education
 is pronounced to be a basic human right, regardless of one's financial status or power.
However
, some pronounce
this
 ubiquitous access to
this
 source of information to be luxury and elusive. In
this
 essay, I will challenge
this
 thinking. One of the predominant premises that opposes
this
 misleading idea is the liberation of choice. As
education
 serves as the rudimental stage for various aspects of occupations, from
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 to office jobs, getting into a facility to learn and choose comfortably what the students want to do is essential for their future and the general economy.
Furthermore
, nowadays, some of the richest people and the best minds in the
world
 usually originate from unfortunate areas, and if the academic system disregards those minds and considers
education
 as royalty, the
world
 might not be as profuse as today. The argument against
this
 misleading statement is
further
 strengthened by the ethical notions regarding the
world
's equality status.
While
 the contemporary
world
 pursues equity and adequate distribution toward myriad social aspects of a human,
education
 and financial allocation are the essentials, and sufficient treatment toward the unfortunate ones is vital regarding general moral ideas.
Moreover
, school is a collective place that could contain people with different perspectives of the
world
 but pursue the same goals.
Thus
, bolstering students to establish and strengthenings invaluable bonds and friendships in life. In conclusion, for the reasons elaborated above, I am strongly against the notion that regards
education
 as something extravagant and luxurious, and it is essential to every child, regardless of being normal or a prodigy, to have a chance to learn.
Submitted by bendy.anhle on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Specific cases or statistics can make your essay more compelling and grounded.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all your paragraphs support your main argument directly and avoid any slightly off-topic sentences, such as the mention of 'pursuing the same goals' could have been tied more closely to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and help build a cohesive argument against the notion that education is a luxury.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt directly and provided clear and comprehensive ideas on why education should be considered a basic right.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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