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Writing Samples
Band 7

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

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In
this
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 era, many people tend to have a
baby
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 at a later
age
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 than previous generations. I believe that the merits of having
children
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 later
age
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 outweigh the risks. Regarding the advantages, I believe that parents who have a
baby
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 at a later
age
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 have emotional and mental maturity, so they can teach their
children
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 well. It is well known that, parents with good mental health its important for childcare.
For instance
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, my 30-year-old aunt seems to have stability on mental and understanding well about parenting to educate her first
children
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, because she learned about parenting when she was 25 years old, before she had a child.
Furthermore
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, 30-year-old parents sometimes have a good career and their finances are stable, so they can satisfy their families.
For example
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, my aunt who has
children
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 at a later
age
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, has prepared her
children
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's education since their
baby
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,
such
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 as enrolling in high-quality kindergarten and some extracurricular courses to improve their soft skills.
On the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages. It is often said that a 30-year-old woman will have a risk of birth child,
for instance
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, my friend got a problem when she
pregnant
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was pregnant
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 at a later
age
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. She got preeclampsia, so her
baby
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 gave birth early when she was 7 months
.
Correct word choice
old.
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In addition
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, it is commonly believed that woman fertility will decrease after 30 years old, so in Indonesia, women are asked to get married before turning 27. In conclusion, having analysed both the advantages and disadvantages, I believe that the positive impacts have a
baby
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 at a later
age
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 outweigh than negative consequences.

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Task Response
Consider addressing and refuting a common counter-argument to strengthen the position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph sticks closely to one clear purpose to enhance logical flow.
Introduction and Conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, setting up the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
Appropriate examples are provided to support the main points, enhancing the clarity and persuasiveness of arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • delaying parenthood
  • financial stability
  • career advancement
  • personal goals
  • higher education
  • fertility treatments
  • relationship stability
  • health care improvements
  • personal development
  • postponing children
  • achieve milestones
  • family planning
  • modern society
  • life expectancy
  • paternal and maternal age
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