Recent research suggests that the majority of criminals who are sent to prison commit crimes after they are realesed. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem?

#research #majority #criminals #prison #crimes #case

Based on

Correct article usage

a rencent

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rencent

Correct your spelling

recent

study, criminals who are released tend to commit illegal acts again.

This

essay will focus on some causes of

this

dilemma and offer some solutions to them. The first reason

Change preposition

for

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this

Unnecessary verb

apply

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issue

Add an article

an issue

the issue

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is the difficulty to

intergrate

Correct your spelling

integrate

into

society

Add an article

the society

a society

show examples

people

who are released from prison.

In other words

, they are considered as bad

people

so they are not respected.

For example

, it is very hard for them to apply for a job. As a

results

Correct the article-noun agreement

result

show examples

, they tend to commit crimes again

such

as steal because they need money to live. One way to solve

this

problem is for

government

Correct article usage

the government

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support

Fix the infinitive

to support

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prisoners after they are released.

This

means that government should provide jobs for them to help them earn money for livelihood.

Therefore

, they can contribute to

country’s

Correct article usage

the country’s

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development so

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can be considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

normal

people

The another

Remove the article

Another

show examples

cause of

this

problem is criminals cannot realize their

mistake

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mistakes

show examples

. The reason for

this

is that penalties are not enough

strict

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

so prisoners tend to break the law again. One way to deal with

this

problem would be for

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

enact

Fix the infinitive

to enact

show examples

strict punishment on illegal activities

such

as hefty fines and lengthy prison

sentence

Fix the agreement mistake

sentences

show examples

. As a

consequences

Correct the article-noun agreement

consequence

show examples

, criminals are fear and they will not commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

again.

To sum up

, there are two visible causes of

people

who are released

break

Wrong verb form

breaking

show examples

the law again and there are two ways to solve

this

issue.

Submitted by nemm0312 on Wed Nov 29 2023

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task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a partial understanding of the prompt, reflecting the lack of depth in exploring the reasons behind re-offending and sparingly offering solutions. More comprehensive analysis and expansion of ideas are required for a higher band score.

coherence cohesion

There were some logical sequences observed in your essay; however, transitions between ideas were abrupt and disjointed, impacting the flow of information. A more organized structure with clear connections between points will significantly improve coherence.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

237 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Recidivism
Rehabilitation
Reintegration
Marginalization
Vocational training
Psychological counseling
Sentencing laws
Community-based programs
Anti-discrimination laws
Employment bias
Probation system
Social stigma

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Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather that to work for a company or organisation what cloud be the advantages of being self employed

More and more students choose to move to other countries to study their higher education. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?