Recent research suggests that the majority of criminals who are sent to prison commit crimes after they are realesed. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem?
Based on
Correct article usage
a rencent
rencent
study, criminals who are released tend to commit illegal acts again. Correct your spelling
recent
This
essay will focus on some causes of this
dilemma and offer some solutions to them.
The first reason of
Change preposition
for
this
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
issue
is the difficulty to Add an article
an issue
the issue
intergrate
into Correct your spelling
integrate
society
of Add an article
the society
a society
people
who are released from prison. In other words
, they are considered as bad people
so they are not respected. For example
, it is very hard for them to apply for a job. As a results
, they tend to commit crimes again Correct the article-noun agreement
result
such
as steal because they need money to live. One way to solve this
problem is for government
Correct article usage
the government
support
prisoners after they are released. Fix the infinitive
to support
This
means that government should provide jobs for them to help them earn money for livelihood. Therefore
, they can contribute to country’s
development so Correct article usage
the country’s
their
can be considered Correct pronoun usage
they
as
normal Change preposition
apply
people
.
The another
cause of Remove the article
Another
this
problem is criminals cannot realize their mistake
. The reason for Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
this
is that penalties are not enough strict
so prisoners tend to break the law again. One way to deal with Correct word choice
apply
this
problem would be for government
Correct article usage
the government
enact
strict punishment on illegal activities Fix the infinitive
to enact
such
as hefty fines and lengthy prison sentence
. As a Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
consequences
, criminals are fear and they will not commit Correct the article-noun agreement
consequence
crime
again.
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
To sum up
, there are two visible causes of people
who are released break
the law again and there are two ways to solve Wrong verb form
breaking
this
issue.Submitted by nemm0312 on
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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a partial understanding of the prompt, reflecting the lack of depth in exploring the reasons behind re-offending and sparingly offering solutions. More comprehensive analysis and expansion of ideas are required for a higher band score.
coherence cohesion
There were some logical sequences observed in your essay; however, transitions between ideas were abrupt and disjointed, impacting the flow of information. A more organized structure with clear connections between points will significantly improve coherence.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite