Machines and robots are increasingly replacing workers in a number of industries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Technology equipments are developing and they are supplanting employees in many factories .I am of the opinion that the number of benefits exceeds
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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drawbacks , which will be discussed in
this
essay . Admittedly , there is one obvious
disadvantages
Change to a singular noun
disadvantage
show examples
behind
such
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
.In other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
,machines and
robots
will make
the
Correct article usage
apply
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work
more
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apply
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better and
easily
Replace the word
easier
show examples
so many workers will lose their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
For example
, many auto companies are gradually replacing humans with
robots
to make cars.
However
, I am of the opinion that
this
line of reasoning is not sound , the development
technology
Change preposition
of technology
show examples
can create many new tasks
such
as assembling
robots
, controlling
robots
or transporting them to many factories.
On the other hand
, there exist two visible advantages of
this
development .One of the biggest advantages is that
robots
provide a significant opportunity in error-free and some standard in the quality of the manufacturing process.
This
mean
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means
show examples
that buyers will be able to earn money comfortably without
worry
Wrong verb form
worrying
show examples
about the quality of
product
Add an article
the product
a product
show examples
.
As a consequence
, they always feel
sastisfied
Correct your spelling
satisfied
and happy and their condition life more better .
For example
, when buyers buy a good technology device , they can use it
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time so they can not
maintenance
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maintain
show examples
each month. Another major positive is that employees can have
a
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apply
show examples
good health.
That is
to
say
Add a comma
say,
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workers can not face to face with a bad environment
such
as a
poision
Correct your spelling
poison
in
chemical
Correct article usage
a chemical
show examples
research factory .
Therefore
, people will live longer . In conclusion , I am strongly convinced that
robots
and machines replacing workers in many factories is indeed
a
Change the article
an
show examples
advantages
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
trend.
Submitted by nemm0312 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure. Ideas are presented without clear transitions or logical sequencing, which can confuse the reader. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences are directly related to it. Use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not clearly articulated. The thesis statement is weak and the conclusion does not effectively summarise the main points of the essay. Work on developing a stronger thesis statement and a conclusion that restates your main points and provides a clear final thought on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The main points are somewhat supported, but the support is often unconvincing or irrelevant. Use specific, relevant examples to back up your claims, and make sure there is a clear connection between your examples and the main points they are supporting.
task achievement
The response to the task is incomplete. The essay attempts to address the prompt, but it does not fully develop a response to all parts of the question. Make sure to address both advantages and disadvantages adequately and to discuss whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
The ideas presented are not clearly developed or comprehensive. The writing lacks depth and does not explore the implications or complexities of the topic in a detailed manner. Strive to fully develop your ideas with explanation, detail, and critical thought.
task achievement
The essay provides examples, but they are not always relevant or specific. Make sure the examples you give clearly support the point you are trying to make and are detailed enough to help the reader understand the connection to your argument.
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