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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#media #interaction #people #society
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In recent years, there has been a growing inclination among
people
 toward using social
media
 to replace face-to-face communication. I am firmly convinced that the drawbacks of
this
 emerging practice are more glaring compared to its benefits On the one hand, it is apparent that social networks are bringing a number of merits to our lives. First and foremost, it facilitates communication for us in modern times as we can globally connect with anyone in the world.
For example
, Facebook is currently the top platform for
people
 to contact
with
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apply
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their relatives and friends, regardless of where they are.
Secondly
,
people
 now tend to have studying sessions through live-streaming websites or apps,
therefore
, learners can easily join online classes thanks to social
media
.
On the other hand
, despite the aforementioned advantages of using social networks,
this
 practice can pose latent drawbacks to individuals these days. More specifically,
people
 are now depending more and more on social
media
 so that they can accidentally become prey to some online communication problems
such
 as cyberbullying or harassment. In fact, there are just a few rules for online society so netizens may fall into a toxic environment where they will be a victim of abusive content or even online scams.
Moreover
, overusing social
media
 can lead
people
 to discount the importance of face-to-face interaction.
Therefore
,
people
 are likely to live in a virtual world rather than engaging in real life.
As a result
, it can lead them to some mental issues
such
 as stress and anxiety In conclusion,
while
 there is no denying
about
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show examples
the merits of these sites, I am of the opinion that the downsides of social
media
 replacing face-to-face interaction are still more considerable
Submitted by lamdactuanga on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, using a clear paragraph structure. Although the logical structure is mainly sound, there are instances where the progression could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Include a balanced introduction and conclusion that clearly presents your stance on the topic and summarizes your main points. The essay does this well but could benefit from a more nuanced presentation of the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with relevant examples and explanations. While the essay provides examples, they are somewhat generic and could be more specific and detailed to enhance the argument.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay maintains focus on the question, but could further emphasize the comparative nature of the advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas that relate directly to the task question. Try to delve deeper into the implications and consequences of the situation to provide a more thorough response.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to support your ideas. Consider incorporating statistics, research, or case studies to strengthen the authority and specificity of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interaction
  • geographical barriers
  • global community
  • cultural diversity
  • economic opportunities
  • superficial interactions
  • mental health impact
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • interpersonal relationships
  • real world
  • spread of misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • societal polarization
  • informed citizenship
  • constant connectivity
  • maintain relationships
  • fast and efficient
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