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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #purpose #education #individuals #society #ambitions
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As in many cases, a huge part of governments’ monetary resources are dedicated to
education
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, some argue that scholars must be taught in a way to be useful exclusively for society, regardless of their own aims.
However
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, others including me believe that one of the main goals of
education
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 is gaining personal goals. On the one hand, obviously, significant budgets are allocated to universities and schools with the aim of boosting the quality of the educational system status; as governments want to guarantee they will have experts in various fields in the future.
Also
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, some part of these funds are provided by taxes, paid by ordinary folks;
as a result
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, they expect that those scholars work with their hearts for their country and try to develop it.
For example
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, in the UK all the individuals including workers, teachers and engineers have to pay heavy taxes, decreasing their annual salaries; so they definitely want to benefit from
this
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 action, without paying attention to the students’ personal ambitions.
On the other hand
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, the other application of
education
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 is to help scholars broaden their minds in order to discover their abilities to set goals for their future lives.
Moreover
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, after spending several years on
education
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, some find out they are interested in
further
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education
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 which is necessary to be a professional.
For instance
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, some students just after finishing high school or even university find their real interests namely working as a musician or being a farmer. So, forcing them to go on to higher
education
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 just because of making society pleasant does not sound logical.
That is
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 because, each year, the appropriate number of professionals graduate, leaving no room for a lack of experts. In conclusion,
however
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, loads and bunches of financial resources are dedicated to educational systems, but I suppose it is not fair to sacrifice someone’s dreams just
due to
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this
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 phenomenon.
Submitted by n97.mortazian on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a strong introduction and a conclusive ending. Both should serve to clearly establish and summarize your argument, respectively.
Paragraph Structure
Make sure each paragraph clearly addresses a single idea to maintain a logical flow. Use topic sentences to introduce the central concept of the paragraph succinctly.
Cohesive Devices
Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, synonyms, and pronouns appropriately to ensure clear connections between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Response
Focus on fully developing your response to the prompt. Both viewpoints and your opinion should be clearly and comprehensively explored with well-supported arguments.
Idea Development
To enhance clarity, express your ideas fully and in relation to the prompt. Ensure the discussion is comprehensive and directly relevant to the prompt throughout the essay.
Supporting Examples
Provide specific examples to support your main points. These examples should be clearly relevant to the topic and enhance the persuasive power of your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preparation
  • beneficial
  • society
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • civic responsibility
  • active participation
  • social initiatives
  • societal issues
  • solutions
  • specialized professions
  • personal growth
  • self-fulfillment
  • passions
  • interests
  • potential
  • talents
  • job prospects
  • financial stability
  • balance
  • meaningful
  • foundation
  • emphasis
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