IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The plan shows the design of a community centre 10 years ago and now.

#plan #design #community #centre #years
The map compares the layout of a community centre as it is currently with the design of it 10 years ago.
It is clear that
 the main change for today involves the addition of a new cafe area and indoor sports. There are no plans to change the car park and the hall. 10 years ago, there was a big
office
 located in the north of the hall, but nowadays it is divided into two places, including
storage
 and a small
office
.
Furthermore
, the four original offices located in the northeast of the centre are joined together, creating a bigger
office
. The
storage
, the hall, and the kitchen remain in the same location. As a new indoor sports facility located in the northwest of the centre is built, the original garden is demolished. A new cafe area is built to replace the
storage
 and the original
office
 in front of the
storage
 gives way to a new coffee bar.
Finally
, no change is made to the original toilet.
Submitted by miatr.work on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a more sophisticated structure by writing a clear introduction, at least two main paragraphs and a conclusion to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately and vary your sentence structure to improve the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
Fully elaborate your main points using detailed comparative language, as the task requires comparisons between the two time periods.
task achievement
Include a clearer overview in your introduction to effectively summarise the main changes that occurred between the two time periods.
task achievement
You must capitalize proper nouns such as 'Cafe' when mentioning specific facilities within the community center.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: