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Band 3

Some experts beleive that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #beleive #children #language #school #outweigh
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In present days, learning
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
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 has been better at beginner school than high school. There are both positive and negative sides to
this
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 decision. On the one hand, there are some reasons why foreign
languages
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what
Correct word choice
that
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pupils
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 have started learning at primary
schools
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 are probably much preferable
than
Change preposition
to
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 high school.
Pupils
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 from beginner
schools
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 have begun to acquire
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 in
nonnative
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non-native
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languages
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as well as
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 communicate with their mates together than native
language
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.
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Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 they can improve
learning
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their learning
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skill
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skills
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in
Change preposition
by
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 watching cartoons, reading books and
also
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 playing video games
while
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 learning.
Pupils
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 have been able to boost
enough
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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their world-view as they have been taking in new
languages
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.
On the other hand
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, it is associated that there are
also
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 drawbacks
for
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to
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 studying foreign
languages
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 from beginner
schools
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. If
pupils
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 have gone ahead learning nonnative
languages
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 from primary
schools
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, they may have been tired
them
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of them
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 .
Furthermore
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, they have definitely had shyness and
absence
Correct article usage
an absence
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 of social skills.
As if
Correct word choice
If
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 they have three times a week to learn
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
Use synonyms
, they manage particularly to be good at learning in order not to be tired. In conclusion, learning a new tongue at primary
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schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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 has its advantages and disadvantages. It might help young people develop their skills, but it can
also
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 put a certain pressure on them.
However
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, I still
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that the benefits of learning another
language
Use synonyms
 at an early age outweigh its drawbacks.
Submitted by munojotbulboyeva on

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Introduction and Conclusion
The essay needs a clear introduction to present the topic and your thesis statement. The conclusion should effectively summarize your points.
Supported Main Points
Main points should be more fully developed with clear and specific examples. Avoid general statements.
Task Achievement and Response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the task and provides a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages, followed by a clear opinion.
Cohesion
Improve cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more naturally.
Logical Structure
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs, each containing one main idea with supporting details.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. Minor errors can impact the overall coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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