Both men and women care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In modern days, more and more people regarding their age, gender, and social level have started to reconsider their appearance,

therefore

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spending way more time, energy, and resources on enhancing their looks compared to past times. I would certainly agree with

this

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statement and will

also

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discuss why I can’t agree with some aspects of

this

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topic. First of all, I would like to separate

men

Use synonyms

and

women

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

different social expectations and norms. Throughout history,

women

Use synonyms

were more likely to experience a certain pressure on their looks and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

That is

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the reason why

women

Use synonyms

today spend even more time and money on their looks. In our modern age, we have a new term, "neopatriarchy”, which basically sells the idea that

women

Use synonyms

should do plastic surgeries, be slimmer, put makeup on, and so on just for themselves.

This

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is completely misleading and sets the wrong ideas for young girls. Before, it was straightforward that

women

Use synonyms

should look better for their man, husband, and family,

while

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nowadays

women

Use synonyms

believe that looking better is something that they are doing because of themselves. It is getting harder to not think about it because of social media, where people post only the best of themselves without showing the actual and truthful side of their appearance. That’s why I believe that these social media content creators can do more harm to ordinary people, and it’s something that

women

Use synonyms

have to understand how to stay rational and truthful to themselves.

On the other hand

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men

Use synonyms

have never faced the same criticism as

women

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before recent times. Even fifty years ago, almost none would say anything about

men

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having wrinkles or being slightly obese. Unlike nowadays,

men

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also

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have begun to think more about their looks, they have started to work out more to be in shape, and they

also

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have begun doing plastic surgeries and going to the barbers. I wouldn’t necessarily say that now it is better than it was before because it

also

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has some downsides.

For example

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, toxic masculine

men

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are usually the ones who will try to offend

men

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who try to change their looks, do nails, change their hairstyle, or wear “

women

Use synonyms

” type clothes. In

this

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case, the problem lies deep in our social norms and standards, which are slowly moving towards gender naturality and accepting yourself, and hopefully, in the future, no one will be ashamed to be themselves. To sum it up, there is definitely a trend for

men

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and

women

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, where they are trying to look better and care more about their appearance than in previous times.

Submitted by forkulichka on Tue Jul 16 2024

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task achievement

Consider refining your thesis statement to more clearly outline the main points of your essay. This can help guide your reader and strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Although the essay is generally well-organized, make sure each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader. This will enhance the logical flow of your arguments.

task achievement

The essay provides a thorough and balanced discussion of the topic. You have effectively addressed both genders and their varying experiences regarding appearance. This demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the issue.

task achievement

Your use of terms like 'neopatriarchy' and discussion about social pressures and norms adds depth to your argument. It shows a high level of awareness about societal trends.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical flow and is well-structured. Your points are well-supported with relevant examples and explanations.

coherence cohesion

A clear and concise conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

431 words

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Both men and women care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that cooking is an important skill for young people to learn. Others believe that it is better for people to learn how to cook after they become adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The average standard of people’s health is likely to be lower in future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Is this a positive or negative development?

🔶Nowadays more and more business meetings and business trainings are taking place online. 🔸Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?