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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case #self
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Nowadays self-employment is going trend
instead
Linking Words
 of working for companies . The reason is that most of them want to organize a comfortable schedule rather than
work
Use synonyms
 already planned . There are a lot of advantages to working for yourself . The first reason is that time which is cozy . People can do anything they want without permission and no need to explain their plans . They can spend more time with the people who are most valuable to them . At the same time , they will not take
a
Change preposition
on a
show examples
mission which is not a good position for them .
For example
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 , when humans
work
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 for the company , they must be at
work
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 on bad occasions and elucidate every detail of the job which they have done . For that, there are numerous employers who want to
work
Use synonyms
 for themselves .
On the other hand
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 , self-workers face more difficulties compared to company workers . Because they have to solve everything by themselves
for
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this
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 reason they will
work
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 under depression. Sometimes they can not do everything because of lack of experience .
For example
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 , if they
work
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 with a team , they will not take all responsibilities which might occur in some difficult situations and always be someone who can support them .
As a result
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 , they would
work
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 for companies
instead
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 of self-employers . In conclusion , new job seekers want to be employed by companies
although
Linking Words
 there is a problem with the timetable . I firmly believe that being a worker in
the
Correct article usage
an
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 organization can be sufficient for people .
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Add more examples to support your points. This can make your arguments more persuasive and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Use more cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the task, providing reasons for the trend towards self-employment and discussing potential disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and finish to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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