Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?
In the contemporary era, the rapid development of the world has inadvertently ushered in negative consequences for the younger generation, posing challenges to their well-being and hindering
overall
progress. A prevalent view suggests that the pervasive obsession with fast food
, sweets, and sugary snacks among children
worldwide is a significant contributor to this
predicament, advocating for stringent restrictions within schools and colleges. I wholeheartedly concur with this
perspective, contending that fast food
poses dangers not only to children
but also
to adults.
Primarily, childhood obesity
arises from a combination of poor dietary choices and a sedentary lifestyle. In the present day, a concerning number of children
grapple with obesity
due to
various factors. A substantial portion of the youth leads a passive lifestyle, opting to stay indoors and engage in video games rather than partake in outdoor activities. This
sedentary behavior
contributes to lethargy, prompting the consumption of fast Change the spelling
behaviour
food
as a quick energy source, subsequently
leading to obesity
. Moreover
, the prevalence of junk food
and high-sugar snacks in school cafeterias exacerbates the problem, as these easily accessible options compromise the health of many students.
Nevertheless
, there exist viable solutions to combat the obesity
epidemic. Parents play a pivotal role in curbing unhealthy dietary habits
by actively monitoring their children
's daily food
intake. By instilling a sense of responsibility regarding food
choices, parents can positively impact their child's overall
health. Additionally
, educational institutions can contribute to the solution by implementing healthier menu options in school cafeterias, promoting
nutritious eating Correct word choice
and promoting
habits
among students.
To elaborate, parental control over a child's diet is paramount. Monitoring the nutritional content of meals and encouraging a balanced diet ensures that children
develop healthy eating habits
from an early age. Simultaneously, schools should take a proactive approach by offering nutritious alternatives in their cafeterias, creating an environment that supports overall
well-being.
In conclusion, the worldwide rise in childhood obesity
is a multifaceted issue with detrimental consequences for the younger generation. The restriction of fast food
, sweets, and sugary snacks within schools and colleges emerges as a crucial step in addressing this
challenge. Through collaborative efforts involving parental guidance and institutional changes, society can mitigate the adverse effects of unhealthy dietary habits
and promote a healthier future for the new generation.Submitted by ronadeclaro on
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay remains focused on the topic provided. The prompt discusses banning adverts for unhealthy food in schools and colleges, but your essay deviates into areas of parental responsibility and children's lifestyles which, although related, are not the focus of this essay prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument effectively. You should aim to lead the reader from one point to the next in a logical manner while maintaining topic relevance throughout your paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Provide relevant examples to support your main points. While your essay may discuss general ideas related to the prompt, specific examples that directly relate to the ban of adverts for fast food and sugary snacks in schools and colleges will strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a logical structure in your essay by clearly stating your opinion on the prompt, followed by paragraphs that each contain one main idea with supporting details. Conclude with a paragraph that summarizes your arguments and reiterates your stance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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