Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#childhood #obesity #world #people #adverts #food #sweets #snacks #schools #colleges

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In the contemporary era, the rapid development of the world has inadvertently ushered in negative consequences for the younger generation, posing challenges to their well-being and hindering

overall

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progress. A prevalent view suggests that the pervasive obsession with fast

food

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, sweets, and sugary snacks among

children

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worldwide is a significant contributor to

this

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predicament, advocating for stringent restrictions within schools and colleges. I wholeheartedly concur with

this

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perspective, contending that fast

food

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poses dangers not only to

children

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but

also

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to adults. Primarily, childhood

obesity

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arises from a combination of poor dietary choices and a sedentary lifestyle. In the present day, a concerning number of

children

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grapple with

obesity

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due to

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various factors. A substantial portion of the youth leads a passive lifestyle, opting to stay indoors and engage in video games rather than partake in outdoor activities.

This

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sedentary

behavior

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behaviour

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contributes to lethargy, prompting the consumption of fast

food

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as a quick energy source,

subsequently

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leading to

obesity

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Moreover

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, the prevalence of junk

food

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and high-sugar snacks in school cafeterias exacerbates the problem, as these easily accessible options compromise the health of many students.

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, there exist viable solutions to combat the

obesity

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epidemic. Parents play a pivotal role in curbing unhealthy dietary

habits

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by actively monitoring their

children

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's daily

food

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intake. By instilling a sense of responsibility regarding

food

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choices, parents can positively impact their child's

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health.

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, educational institutions can contribute to the solution by implementing healthier menu options in school cafeterias,

promoting

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and promoting

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nutritious eating

habits

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among students. To elaborate, parental control over a child's diet is paramount. Monitoring the nutritional content of meals and encouraging a balanced diet ensures that

children

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develop healthy eating

habits

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from an early age. Simultaneously, schools should take a proactive approach by offering nutritious alternatives in their cafeterias, creating an environment that supports

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well-being. In conclusion, the worldwide rise in childhood

obesity

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is a multifaceted issue with detrimental consequences for the younger generation. The restriction of fast

food

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, sweets, and sugary snacks within schools and colleges emerges as a crucial step in addressing

this

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challenge. Through collaborative efforts involving parental guidance and institutional changes, society can mitigate the adverse effects of unhealthy dietary

habits

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and promote a healthier future for the new generation.

Submitted by ronadeclaro on Wed Nov 29 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure that your essay remains focused on the topic provided. The prompt discusses banning adverts for unhealthy food in schools and colleges, but your essay deviates into areas of parental responsibility and children's lifestyles which, although related, are not the focus of this essay prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument effectively. You should aim to lead the reader from one point to the next in a logical manner while maintaining topic relevance throughout your paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Provide relevant examples to support your main points. While your essay may discuss general ideas related to the prompt, specific examples that directly relate to the ban of adverts for fast food and sugary snacks in schools and colleges will strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Maintain a logical structure in your essay by clearly stating your opinion on the prompt, followed by paragraphs that each contain one main idea with supporting details. Conclude with a paragraph that summarizes your arguments and reiterates your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

374 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
vulnerability
unethical
well-being
commercial gain
cafeteria options
nutritional programs
fast food advertisements
health impacts
influence
educational environment
promote healthier eating habits

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Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Fully explain your ideas

Describe an item of technology that you own which is very important to you. You should say: where you got it from how long you have had it what you use it for and explain why it is important to you.

Studies have shown that unemployment has a bad effect on both the physical and mental health of people without a job. For this reason, governments need to create jobs for everyone who wants one. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A noticeable lack of students opting for science subjects at universities is observed in various countries. What are the reasons and what are the effects on society?