Some government say how many children a family can have in their country. they may control the number of children someone has through taxes it is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. do you agree or disagree?
In the modern world, there has been a tendency
in
the Earth to be overpopulated. In some parts of the globe Change preposition
for
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
are
arguing about Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Correct article usage
the
a
necessity to control Correct article usage
the
Correct article usage
apply
the
population growth through Correct article usage
apply
taxes
. Undeniably, it is a good way to solve this
issue, which I am going to explain further
.
There is no shadow of a doubt that uncontrolled
birthrate may lead to many problems, Correct article usage
an uncontrolled
not to mention
that in many parts of the world
children are starving and Add a comma
world,
even
sometimes some of them have knowledge about what the real Rephrase
apply
famin
is. Correct your spelling
family
For instance
, some families cannot feed their own children, Correct word choice
or provides
provides
them Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
necessary
healthcare Change preposition
with necessary
fascilities
, which Correct your spelling
facilities
also
lead
to a rise in infectious disease cases. To exemplify, in East Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
Asia
many of them are dying from hepatites or malnutrition Add a comma
Asia,
due to
the afromentioned
. Correct your spelling
aforementioned
Also
, in China
they have already had good results in providing Add a comma
China,
such
policies.
Having said that, if a particular family can born
many children, they have to give them basic necessities. Providing Verb problem
have
taxes
should stabilise this
situation. It gives to
Change preposition
apply
the
contemporary society a chance to think about making Correct article usage
apply
decision
when they are in a family way. Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
However
, it has to be regulated with understanding
Correct article usage
an understanding
human
rights and Change preposition
of human
population's
desires. Undoubtedly, the youth population is our future and it ought to be counted.
In conclusion, I utterly agree that Correct article usage
the population's
taxes
in such
field
should be given because of the risks which have been brought Correct article usage
a field
with
overpopulation. Change preposition
by
The humanity
would have been on the verge of annihilation, if some strict rules Correct article usage
Humanity
as well as
regulations, such
as taxes
had not been implemented.Submitted by roker123456 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph presents a clear main idea and logically expands on it with supporting details. Avoid including multiple new points within a single paragraph without proper development for each.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are evident but they need to be clearer and more concise. Work on strengthening your thesis statement and providing a succinct summary of your arguments in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the task and attempts to address it throughout. However, you need to more directly answer the question by making your position clear from the start and maintaining a consistent argument throughout.
task achievement
Support your ideas with relevant, concrete examples. Avoid general statements and hypothetical scenarios that do not offer clear evidence for your arguments.
task achievement
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Consider rephrasing complex ideas and checking if they accurately convey your intended message.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
