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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

#internet #information
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Nowadays, the internet has become an integral part of our lives that gives us countless opportunities that we couldn'
t
 have without it.
However
, we
also
 encounter severe problems that we didn'
t
 get to see before. Society faces thousands of scam attacks each year that go
along with
 various hacking attempts and others,
while
 adults are more reasonable, children are more prone to be victims of thief's and scammers' actions.
One
 of the most dangerous ways of it, in my opinion, is simply games, not the ones that you can first start thinking about,
such
 as peaceful farms. The ones that are truly dangerous, more known as blue whales or different types of them. Basically, it is a program full of tasks that users have to accomplish in order to move on and reach the next level. At
first,
it seems that there isn'
t
 even a sign of danger,
however
, these ''peaceful app'' have caused death by thousands of kids and it is not the only
one
 that you can download online. How can we prevent horrible ramifications that can appear with
internet's
Correct article usage
the internet's
show examples
 existence? Option number
one
, parents can install special parental control on their children's phones.
Thus
 moms and dads will have endless access to the device and will be able to supervise kids' actions,
however
, the method is still debatable because for some people it is equal to the invasion into the child zone.
The option
Correct your spelling
In Option
show examples
number
Correct your spelling
2
 2, parents have to communicate with their children and explain what they can and
what they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should not do,
share
Correct word choice
and share
show examples
 online. I suppose it is the only truthful
one
. In conclusion, we can'
t
 affect on
Internet
Change noun form
Internet's
show examples
 existence, but we can learn and teach how to work with it.
Submitted by dashasokolova068 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and coherent structure. Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, follow with supporting sentences, and conclude with a summarizing or transitioning statement.
task achievement
The task response is incomplete. Address all parts of the prompt, offer a balanced view on the problems and solutions, and substantiate your ideas with clear reasoning or examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cybersecurity
  • phishing
  • identity theft
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • social isolation
  • internet addiction
  • data privacy
  • digital literacy
  • regulations
  • awareness programs
  • manipulate
  • proliferation
  • consent
  • escalated
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