IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

an increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online?

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Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 online shopping for what they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 in daily
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 including by person and
companies
Use synonyms
. Online shopping is the best platform for anyone.
However
Linking Words
, it has both pros and cons to shop online. Time-consuming and easy to
purchase
Use synonyms
 every good is advantages and
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 way, less durability and less reliable are the disadvantages of
these shopping
Change the determiner
this shopping
show examples
. On the one
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, time-consuming is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 tremendous advantage for both individuals and
companies
Use synonyms
. We can pay all over the country for any items in any place where we live. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
business
Use synonyms
 person, who
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 remarkable discounts for every
purchase
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 why most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
 try to
used
Change the verb
use
show examples
this
Linking Words
 online shopping.
Consequenly
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, online
business
Use synonyms
 owners try to do
best
Correct pronoun usage
their best
show examples
 for customers
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
attact
Correct your spelling
attract
attack
 their
business
Use synonyms
. For
instanse
Correct your spelling
instance
, Daraz,
Ali
Correct word choice
and Ali
show examples
baba
Capitalize word
Baba
show examples
 are the best shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
 for
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 and
companies
Use synonyms
 to buy retail and wholesale. They give vast discounts for every
purchase
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 why people and
companies
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
love to buy their needs
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
online.
However
Linking Words
, online shopping has disadvantages as well. When we
ordered
Wrong verb form
order
show examples
 clothes, sometimes their colours and sizes are not suitable.
Therefore
Linking Words
, customers try to exchange it and most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online businesses
has
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not exchange and refundable policy. Some online shoppers are less
durabiliy
Correct your spelling
durable
durability
 and reliable. Some are not registered
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 under the government.
Therefore
Linking Words
, both individuals and
companies
Use synonyms
 face complicated
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 for using online
business
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays
thief
Fix the agreement mistake
thieves
show examples
 are the trend of online
business
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of people
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 online shopping because of time-consuming and get more discount
Use synonyms
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
 for their orders.
However
Linking Words
, sometimes customers
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
face trouble
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
 because of online
thiefs
Correct your spelling
thieves
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs, each containing a main idea and supporting details. Avoid mixing different ideas within the same paragraph, and make coherent transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. The introduction should more effectively paraphrase the question and clearly state your position or outline the structure of your essay. The conclusion should summarize your main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing and expanding upon your main points, providing more in-depth analysis and a wider range of supporting details and relevant examples.
task achievement
Make sure you address all parts of the task. While your response is mostly complete, it would benefit from more clarity and development of your ideas. Avoid repeating the same points and strive to introduce a variety of ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that the ideas presented in your essay are clear and easily understandable. Work on the organization of paragraphs and the clear expression of your arguments to improve the comprehensibility of your ideas.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. These examples should be well-integrated into your essay and work to substantiate your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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