Some people believe that cell phones should be for personal use only; others,  ​however, feel cell phones should be used mostly for work.​    Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Whilst some
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that mobile
phones
can only
use
for personal
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
, others say that
this
communication
device
should be used
besides
Change preposition
for
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personal
such
as
work
. I
also
argue that mobiles should
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
for
work
purposes
too. On the one hand, cell
phones
use
Wrong verb form
are used
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mostly for personals
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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chat with friends, speak to someone, play mobile games and upload pictures to social media. It is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact
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that
this electronic gadgets
Change the determiner
this electronic gadget
these electronic gadgets
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can be
fulfilled
Verb problem
used
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to
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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personal
use
and we can save more personal
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these devices
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device
at present like credit card details and passwords.
For example
, if a person misses his phone, all information will be lost because all details are stored
in
Change preposition
on
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mobile
phones
.
Therefore
,
this
device
use
Wrong verb form
is used
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personal
Change preposition
for personal
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purposes
.
On the other hand
, mobiles can be utilized more for
work
Correct your spelling
work-related
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related too, all features and apps are contained in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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gadgets
such
as
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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. Wherever we
work
any office
realted
Correct your spelling
related
work
by
this
device
without making any mistake with accurate speed and process.
For instance
, office 365 apps from the
microstore
Correct your spelling
microsite
microspore
micro store
app
is
Change the verb form
are
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contained all
android
Capitalize word
Android
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phones
,
as a result
, people can easily
work
any
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on any
show examples
office related
Add a hyphen
office-related
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activity with mobile
phones
such
as
power point
Correct your spelling
powerpoint
show examples
presentation
Fix the agreement mistake
presentations
show examples
. I argue that
this
device
should be used more for
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
show examples
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
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in order
to
Change preposition
for to
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folks
can
Verb problem
apply
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finish
work
quickly without
computer
Add an article
a computer
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
phone's
Correct article usage
a phone's
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usage
more
Add a missing verb
is more
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for personal
purposes
, it can be used vastly for
work
Correct your spelling
work-related
show examples
related too because all
mobile's
Change noun form
mobile
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features and apps are designed for not only personal
usus
Correct your spelling
use
but
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
purposes
too
Rephrase
apply
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. In my opinion about
this
, mobiles should be used more and more for
work
realted
Correct your spelling
related
activity.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas within the paragraphs are logically ordered. Use cohesive devices appropriately to signify the relationships between ideas.
task achievement
Expand and develop your main points further with examples and explanations. Each viewpoint should be explored equally, and your own opinion should be clear and well-supported throughout the essay.
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