Some people believe that people stay fit if they joing gym and sports Club while other think that they stay fit doing walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views along your opinion
Proponents deem that
dwellers
stay fit if they do joining
Wrong verb form
join
gym
and sports
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
while
opponents reckon that they stay healthy doing walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. I will handout
both the perspective Correct your spelling
hand out
along with
my opinion.
To embark upon, there are several reasons to agree of
Change preposition
that
dwellers
stay fit if they joining
Wrong verb form
join
gym
and other Add an article
a gym
the gym
sports
club
because always stay free from anxiety. Individuals eat limited Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
such
as they will prefer to
healthy food and avoid Change preposition
apply
to
oily foods. They Change preposition
apply
also
will be happy for example
, they take diet every day because gym
centres and sports
Club
always tell to
Change preposition
apply
dwellers
about health
proteins which Replace the word
healthy
helps
to maintain their health . Change the verb form
help
As a consequence
,they always reduce obesity and even will looks
like Change the verb form
look
body builders
.
Paradoxically, there are several merits of individuals Correct your spelling
bodybuilders
stay
fit if they Wrong verb form
staying
doing
walking Unnecessary verb
apply
everyday
and climbing stairs is sufficient. They reduce their stress if they do add walking in their morning schedule, they can stay fit. They can increase their brain power through Replace the word
every day
doing
walking. To vindicate , if they do regular walking in Unnecessary verb
apply
early
morning they take myriad benefits from early morning walk because they can increase their concentration ability , Add an article
the early
even
Correct word choice
and even
they
increase their Correct pronoun usage
apply
eyes
powers. Fix the agreement mistake
eye
As a consequence
,they always stay active in
Change preposition
during
a
day and will not feel exhausted.
In compendium, Correct article usage
the
although
there are several merit
of individuals Change to a plural noun
merits
stays
fit if they doing everyday activities Wrong verb form
staying
such
as walking an
climbing stairs but pros of Correct your spelling
and
dwellers
stay healthy if they joing
a Correct your spelling
join
joining
gym
and sports
Club
for maintain their health. In my opinion, the latter is more than former
Correct article usage
the former
Submitted by komalpreet4194 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical progression of ideas. It is important that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas within the paragraph flow smoothly from one to the next. Use cohesion devices such as conjunctions, pronouns, and synonyms effectively to help link ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but are not clearly articulated. Your introduction should clearly introduce the topic and indicate your overall position or approach to the question. The conclusion should summarise the main points made in the essay and restate your position in a clear manner.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main points are supported, but they lack development and sometimes veer away from relevance. Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and expands on that idea with explanations, relevant examples, and evidence.
Task Achievement
The response is complete, but it does not fully comply with the requirements of the task. It is essential that the question is fully answered, and all parts of the prompt are addressed. Make sure to discuss both views and give your own opinion with clear, substantial arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay presents ideas but they could be more clear and comprehensive. Work on expressing your thoughts in a more structured and precise manner. Avoid vague statements and ensure that your essay conveys a coherent response to the task.
Task Achievement
While you do provide relevant examples, ensure that they directly support your main arguments. These examples need to be specific and clearly linked to the points you're making within the context of the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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