IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The diagram shows the water cycle, which is the continuous movement of water on, above and below the surface of the Earth.

The diagram shows the water cycle, which is the continuous movement of water on, above and below the surface of the Earth.
The diagram demonstrates the hydrologic cycle.
Overall
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the process, the cycle comprises four main stages. Started with the evaporation of
ocean
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
, progressing through the precipitation and ending with
water
Use synonyms
 returning to the
ocean
Use synonyms
 and evaporation again. Now turning to the details, the
ocean
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
 heated by sunlight, and as
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
 evaporates into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
invisible
water
Use synonyms
 vapour.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, condensing
water
Use synonyms
 vapour transforms
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 cloud.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 cloud formation carried
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
wind
Add an article
a wind
the wind
show examples
 to coastal areas. As soon as clouds
being
Add a missing verb
are being
show examples
 propelled
be
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
 wind to higher land, the clouds fall down as abundant rain.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, all the
water
Use synonyms
 transformed into lakes,
at
Correct word choice
and at
show examples
 the same time portion of
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 immediately goes onto the grass.
Finally
Linking Words
, the groundwater
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 out as
river
Correct article usage
a river
show examples
 and flows into the
ocean
Use synonyms
 through the
salt
Correct your spelling
saltwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 intrusion.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 starts his journey repeatedly and systematically.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ocean, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • evaporation
  • transpiration
  • condensation
  • precipitation
  • aquifers
  • percolation
  • surface runoff
  • replenishing
  • infiltrates
  • atmosphere
  • vapor
  • liquid
  • cycle
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