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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the us between 1988 and 2000. summarise the information and comparing

the pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the us between 1988 and 2000. summarise the information and comparing
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The pie charts and table illustrate the total value of fishing in the US and three different countries which imported fish to the US between 1988 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the total value of fishing rose throughout
period
Add an article
the period
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.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, in the
beginning
Add the comma(s)
beginning,
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percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Canada
Use synonyms
 far exceeded
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the other figures,
however
Linking Words
 in 2000
this
Linking Words
 category represented
in
Change preposition
apply
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the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
. In detail, the total value of fishing was 6.57
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
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of
Change preposition
apply
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dollars in 1988 and
this
Linking Words
 figure gradually increased over the period, with approximately 2
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
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of
Change preposition
apply
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dollars
rose
Verb problem
apply
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per year,
reached at
Wrong verb form
reaching
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 10.72
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
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of
Change preposition
apply
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dollars in 2000. Turning to the pie charts,
Canada
Use synonyms
 had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 1988 (60%) which almost doubled the rate of others’s
percentage
Use synonyms
 in that year. Meanwhile, China had the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 at 13%. The category of others peaked in 1992
an
Correct your spelling
and
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 represented 46% in 1992.
This
Linking Words
 figure followed by
Canada
Use synonyms
 and China, accounted for 34% and 29%, respectively. The pie chart which symbolises the year
of
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apply
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2000, the category of others was higher (42%) than the other two categories, the second
significant
Correct quantifier usage
most significant
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percentage
Use synonyms
was belonged
Change to the active voice
belonged
has belonged
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China
Change preposition
to China
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 which nearly
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in
Change preposition
apply
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third,
Linking Words
at
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apply
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followed by
Canada
Use synonyms
 which dramatically decreased over the period from 60% to 28%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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