The education of young people is highly prioritised in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree and or disagree?

#education #people #countries #adults #governments #money

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In most countries, providing the best education to young people is becoming a main goal.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, some believe that teaching adults who are not able to write or read is much more crucial, and it needs more funds to be run. I completely disagree with that statement

due to

Linking Words

reasons that will be discussed in the following paragraph. Specifically speaking of Indonesia, the number of illiterate groups is much lower these days in comparison to 20 years ago.

Also

Linking Words

, we are headed to the fact that Indonesia has numerous youngsters of productive age. Focusing on only one side, which is the illiterate group, may abandon the other one, which may have detrimental effects on the whole country.

Hence

Linking Words

, the main target must still be investing in youngsters' education.

Instead

Linking Words

, the government can support the illiterate by holding educational events,

such

Linking Words

as weekend reading clubs at social houses. By doing

this

Linking Words

, the number of people who can’t read or write can be decreased without spending too much money.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, we have many literacy aids nowadays. In public places, we see instructions followed by pictures that describe the messages. An illustration of

this

Linking Words

can be seen at the stations; there are symbols and arrows that are colour-coded, all of which are ubiquitous here.

Also

Linking Words

, the directions are

also

Linking Words

informed by human voices, which are operated automatically. Getting access to information in public places is easy.

Lastly

Linking Words

, with the advancement of artificial technology, the transformation of data is fast, affordable, and handy.

For example

Linking Words

, low-end handphones are able to operate voice recognition, and

as a result

Linking Words

, they do not need to type, which means the illiterate population can do messaging. In conclusion, the government is not compelled to spend huge amounts of money to educate the illiterate. Because their population is limited, they may employ technology to assist them in understanding and producing information.

Submitted by erniwbs on Thu Nov 30 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction & conclusion

Ensure that the introduction adequately paraphrases the question and clearly states your opinion. The conclusion should summarily restate your opinion and main arguments.

paragraphing & structure

Organize ideas more logically and cohesively, considering the usage of paragraphs to structure the essay effectively. Topic sentences should introduce the main idea of the paragraph clearly.

supporting examples

Consider expanding on the main points with more specific and varied examples to substantiate the arguments. The examples should be directly related to the central argument.

addressing the task

Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. The response should present a clear position throughout the response, with an expanded argument on why you agree or disagree.

cohesive devices

Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to manage the flow of your essay. Avoid overuse and strive for varied language.

idea development

Consider the depth and complexity of ideas conveyed. Develop ideas fully to meet the task requirement of a clear and comprehensive argument.

grammatical range & accuracy

Pay attention to grammar and punctuation; complex structures should be used accurately to convey meaning without ambiguity.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

literacy programs
functional illiteracy
social mobility
inter-generational poverty
workforce development
economic growth
social cohesion
public health
civic participation
resource allocation
national development

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both these views and give your own.
Some people argue that if something bad happen to them, like do not match with their job or lack of money, the best thing to do is just accept it. Meanwhile, others think that they can not just stand still, they must try to fix the situation. This essay will analyze both sides and the conclusion will be made.
5.5
band
Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
The debate over whether it is better to have more money and less free time or to earn less money and have more free time is a significant one. This question touches on the fundamental aspects of life, such as financial security, work-life balance, and personal fulfillment. This essay will discuss both perspectives and present a reasoned opinion on the matter.
4
band
Holding international games such as olympics is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effect, while others argue that it is a waste of money. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
International game is a traditional culture started from thousends years ago. We need to admit that competing is a natural habit inside our DNA. From a simple game like running, and it bloomed as national event since the transportation has been developed and everyone can join the game. But is it only benefits people? It is nesessary to dicuss about the both negative and postive effects of international games.
7
band
The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent times, with the rise of technology, work is also rapidly changing. With this rapid change, workers cannot depend on their current jobs or their working conditions. There are a few causes of change and solutions for workers to prepare for their future.
7.5
band
In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?
Obesity is becoming a global health concern , particularly to children. Though there are several reasons leading to this trend, the government can do so much to counteract this problem.

The education of young people is highly prioritised in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree and or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both these views and give your own.

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Holding international games such as olympics is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effect, while others argue that it is a waste of money. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?